Love Can Do Much, But Duty More
by VixenReborn
Summary: Zukaang Week Prompt: Duty The burden of Duty is a heavy one. Something the Avatar knows only far too well, its only now that his friends can see what that really means. They just hope that it doesn't mean losing Aang in the process.
1. As Cold As the Tundra

**Disclaimer: I own only the idea, the characters and series belong to someone else.**

**AN: This is for Zukaang week prompt: Duty. **

**I'm posting the prologue up now since it isn't very Zuko or Aang centric in anyway. **

**This is also my very fair warning that this is going to be very Slashy. Not just my regular fluff. **

**With that said, I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think.**

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"When you date a guy for five years, there are just certain things you expect from him. Things like marriage and maybe children. There should be talk of settling down and at the very least getting a home," Katara explained.

She shifted on the furs she was sitting on to face her grandmother better. The two of them sat talking in the make shift guest house the water tribe used whenever Aang and Katara came to town. It wasn't that they were here that often or really that they stayed that long. It was more of a measure the tribe had made for any important guest that might show up.

"You speak of children, but when you two got together, you were hardly more then that yourself," The elderly woman admonished.

"Gram-Gram, I know that. I also know that for that first year while we were fighting the war, I wasn't really close to him at all. I often wonder if that is why he isn't close to me now. It doesn't change the fact that he has grown. I have grown too. Not counting the first year during the war, after at least two years, I would have expected him to at least want more then to just kiss me," Katara said with her voice downcast.

The older woman shook her head and her face looked stern as she said, "I can not say I did not expect this day to come. I didn't know under what circumstances though. I had half believed you would be coming home dragging some young man in tow behind you explaining that you had found love while Aang was off saving the world. I'm saddened that it took this long and for your loneliness to take over before you could finally see it."

Katara laughed bitterly and said harshly, "See that I was second to him being the Avatar? Even in that first year when he pursued me the most, I knew that I was. I've spent the last five years going through desert, wasteland, tundra, forest, and city to every corner of the world all for the sake of his duties. Always on the constant move and never being able to settle down anywhere for long. I've hardly seen my homelands in this time except when there was a summons for the Avatar to be here. Even now, Aang is over talking about trading rights between the southern and northern water tribes. We just got here with the sun set and he wouldn't even put it off till morning. He'll spend all night in there away from me, like it always goes."

Large tears formed in Katara's eyes. In an instant her grandmother was beside her, rubbing her back gently trying to comfort her. Katara had fully felt the gulf that was between her and Aang in the last year. Every time that she would try to talk about settling down that he had turned from her, then he would lecture her on his duty. She hated that speech so much and she had every word memorized from the numerous times she had heard it. Her tears fell.

"Aang is the Avatar, as you know that means he has great responsibility. Still you chose to remain beside him this long. You are very strong Katara. Now is not the time to keep crying, now is the time to decide what you must do. If you keep going on like this, you'll only turn bitter and cold as the tundra. You have to chose to listen to your heart now and figure out what to do," The old woman explained between Katara's sobs.

She choked back another one hearing her grandmother's words. This way why she had probably waited all this time she realized. She had wanted the comfort of her family to be near her. There were many tough decisions she was going to have to make from here on out and she knew she needed the support her family had to offer. She calmed herself with much effort. Too many times had she cried these tears to herself while Aang was off at this meeting or some other dispute. Now though, she had her family to help her. She gave a small sad smile to her grandmother.

"I think I know what I have to do Gram-Gram. Thanks for talking to me. Actually, I think I may have known for a long time now. I just don't think I've been able to. I think I've just been too afraid of what will happen afterwords. Though, now that I think about it, I think I might be more afraid of what will happen if I don't get this sorted out soon," Katara told the older woman.

"Just remember Katara, your family is here for you no matter what you decide. We will be here to help you one way or the other. Even though your brother is off with his wife and baby girl, they will be back here shortly. I'm sure you'll have their support too," The woman expressed as she got up.

Katara turned to her with questioning eyes. The woman made her way to the entrance before stopping and turning back. Her eyes crinkled with the wide smile that lit up her face.

"Your father wont let the meeting last much longer. Not when he knows your waiting on it to be over. I need to get back to my house to be ready to greet your grandfather. I'm sure that whatever happens from here on has a reason for doing so even if we don't see so at first. Good luck," The old woman said before slipping out of the warm house and into the night.

Katara placed all of her thoughts in order. She wasn't very sure of her plan of action just yet, but she knew part of what it needed to entail though. It was a start. She let her thoughts roam as she tried to place them all in order. She wasn't sure how long she sat there thinking before she was pulled out her thoughts from the cold that washed over her.

Katara turned to the entrance and saw Aang coming in. He still seemed so much like that boy she had found in the ice. He had grown taller and even managed to put on a bit of muscle, but his exterior was still Aang. He was still small for his age and still had a face that would be considered really cute rather then handsome. The only real difference was that instead of the playful smile he always wore, he now wore a steady flat expression. She used to only see that face when he meditated, but now it was his only real expression. It made her heart ache for the kid he used to be.

She gave an unsteady smile before saying, "Aang, we need to talk."

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Footnote: I'm not exactly sure how many chapters this thing is going to have, but I have a full plot outline of it and already have six chapters written, though I may squish two of them together.


	2. A Letter From The Jasmin Dragon

**Disclaimer: I own only the idea of this story, the characters and series belong to someone else. **

**AN: The first real chapter of this story. Yes, I realize that its kind of short. I'll try to make up for that in the future. Don't expect any updates to this till Zukaang week is over though. **

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There were two special letters waiting for Zuko today. One had come from Kyoshi Island, from Sokka and Suki. The other had been sent from Ba Sing Se**,** written by his uncle on Toph's behalf. Each letter asked mostly the same thing.

The news was a bit shocking and as soon as he received the letters, he found himself heading to Mai's home. He stood outside the door awkwardly for a bit. When he finally knocked the pregnant woman opened the door herself with her husband leaning happily over her shoulder.

"You were standing there so long, I wondered if you were going to knock or not," Mai said with a small smile on her face. It quickly turned to a frown when she saw the letter in his hand and the distressed look he had.

She backed out of the doorway and asked her husband to go get drinks while she led Zuko into the living room. He followed a few steps behind. She sat down carefully on the sofa and Zuko took a chair located nearby. Mai rested her hands on her protruding stomach. Upon seeing it, even Zuko couldn't help the smile that reached his lips.

"Not much longer now is it?" he asked.

"Not quite. The mid-wife said about two months left. This whole pregnancy thing seems like longer than nine months. I swear, never again," Mai said trying to sound disgusted, but failing.

Zuko looked again at the letter in his hand. It was the one from Toph written by Iroh. More news from the tea shop had been great. He loved to hear the latest stories of how Toph was managing as a waitress there. He had greatly worried about leaving his uncle in the Earth city, but he had insisted on staying. Toph stayed to be near enough to her parents, but far enough that she was still able to take care of herself. Given her age, she still needed someone around to be of some help**,** so she had stayed with Iroh at the Jasmin Dragon. The two managed to keep each other from being lonely and seemed to make a great duo. The latest tea shop stories were always something looked forward to. He hadn't expected the letter to say what it did this time though.

"I'm not a mind reader Zuko. I won't know what it says unless you tell me," Mai said, interrupting his thoughts.

"It's a letter from the Jasmin Dragon." Mai nodded**;** she knew what that was, and Zuko kept talking, "I got a similar one from Sokka over on Kyoshi. They both asked if I've had any news from Aang the last few weeks. It seems Katara broke up with him."

Mai stiffened a bit before asking, "So how much damage did he do to the city?"

Zuko chuckled a little at that thought. It was his first one too when he was reading the letters. He thought for sure that Aang would slip into Avatar state and lay where ever he was to waste. Not intentionally, but probably mostly out of shock from it all.

"None. According to what they are saying, he took it all in and left. Seems she did it while they were at her hometown. Apparently, he said stuff to her about having his duty as the Avatar**,** and that dating her wasn't one of them," Zuko explained.

"That seems harsh. Certainly worse then our break up," Mai said.

"Our break up was mutual. You finally found someone you could be passionate about and I was happy for you. There was no breaking, only separating," Zuko expressed. 

About two years ago, Zuko had finally managed to get in a new set of generals that were loyal to him. Most of the old troops still had too many feelings about his father, but the training was extensive, so it took time to replace them even in times of peace. He was happy about the new troops, but he found he wasn't the only one. A few days after the troops had been swapped out he caught a sound he had never really heard. Mai was yelling at one of them. She had actually managed to get so frustrated at the guy that her face was red and full on yelled at him and called him many things that he was sure glad she never called him. Zuko knew then that he had lost her.

It was not even a month after that day that Mai had come to him telling him that she wasn't sure it was right to be with him any more. She had tried to give an explanation, but Zuko didn't need one. He had told her before that he wished she would find something she could be passionate about. He found he was truly happy that she finally could be too. Still, that didn't stop him from questioning the man. A man by the name of Tezor. He had found out that Tezor wasn't just any guy, but a General that had made his way to the top through various acts of bravery. Zuko couldn't help feeling that that must have been why the guy was brave enough to risk making Mai angry. He found himself laughing at his own thoughts.

As luck would have it, the man was just walking back into the room with four glasses of fruit juice. Zuko was curious about the fourth cup, but seeing the way Mai took the first glass and drank it down, he figured it out quickly. He took one of the cups and took a drink. It had an odd pineapple taste, but seemed enjoyable enough.

He watched as the General placed himself on the couch. He sat close enough to be near his wife, but far enough that he wouldn't smother her. Zuko felt a bit guilty

Their relationship had been throughout the last two years, but he didn't know many of the specifics .He barely knew that they had gotten married ten months ago, and he had performed the ceremony! Zuko knew that Mai chose not to speak of her relationship for fear of hurting him. She really didn't need to bother. He found about six months after she had left that it was less Mai herself that he missed and more the company she had to offer. When there was no companion he felt lonely. He did the only thing he knew how to do; he threw himself into his work.

Zuko hated it when he began to feel lonely like this. He finished his drink and attempted further polite conversation. It was clear that he was failing though, so he excused himself and left. He headed to his private room and closed himself in. He felt exhausted from all the work. Despite that though, he sat down at his desk and made out two letters, each expressing his concern for Aang. He sent them out before finally returning to his chambers and laying down in bed.

His body was beginning to drag from all the work. He was starting to feel a lot more tired all the time from the continued stress. Time off was what he needed. Still, time off meant time alone and no distractions. Zuko mused as he drifted off to sleep of the various places he might like to go and visit should he vacation. He dreamed of the Western Air Temple.

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Footnote: To those of you that noticed a decrease in grammatical errors, you can thank the handsome PhoenixOwl. It is to him whom this chapter is dedicated.


	3. A Very Honored Baby

**A/N: The plot ball is up and rolling, even if its not fully clear. I've been trying to give some thought as to how often I should update this. If there are any ideas, drop me a line. **

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The letters came slowly. First it was only the two, then three as Katara began to message him herself. Then five as more messages from others joined in asking after Aang. Zuko had been pulling in as many reports about Aang as he could. He had been tracking him by the stories people were telling and reporting. He was still out there helping plenty of people, but he wasn't stopping anywhere that he had close friends. Zuko would report back the latest sightings he could and message them back.

More letters came. Each filled with concern and a touch of anger. Every letter they had sent to Aang had come back with a message filled with words about the duty of the Avatar. Zuko couldn't blame him; when Mai had left him, he had buried himself in work too. He tried to send out reassuring messages to everyone telling them not to worry.

It had been nearly a month and letters came still. Always more and more concerned than the last. Zuko struggled to keep them calm. There were still plenty of stories of Aang out and among the people. He was still holding up.

Then one day, Zuko's desk was covered in letters. Pleas from his friends asking about Aang and trying to get Zuko to use his power to do something to help him. It seemed Aang wasn't even bothering to message his friends back any more. Zuko finally had to admit to himself, he was worried. He left his desk and went to one of the few people in the palace he knew he could trust.

Ursa's room was across the palace from his chambers. His mother liked to be closer to the garden and that was fine with him. He had given her the pick of rooms when she returned, and it was a bit surprising that she had picked the old nursery as her new room. She didn't change it much, just enough to add a bed. He supposed that he wasn't the only one that was fond of his memories.

His thoughts carried him all the way to her door. He knocked lightly. It was early evening, he didn't think she would be asleep at this hour, but it was better than taking any risks. He barely heard her murmured allowance of entrance.

Slowly he opened the door. He slipped in and closed it behind him. His mother sat in the rocking chair she had used to rock him to sleep as a baby. She was reading a scroll that looked like one of his childhood bedtime stories. Since she had gotten back, Zuko had to admit that she was a bit more eccentric then he remembered, but her time in exile had not been easy. She was lucky it was just exile and not worse. After she had murdered his grandfather, she was lucky that she wasn't killed. It was the only thing he thanked his father for.

"You seemed troubled Zuko. Have you come to talk about it?" she asked him.

"I have," he said simply. He explained to her all about Aang's break up and about the letters. He expressed his worries to her knowing that she wouldn't repeat them or ever use them against him.

Since he had gotten her back four years ago, she had been a constant source of relief to him. She was the adviser he knew he could fully trust. He had felt so comfortable being able to talk to her that he had told her things he had never even realized he felt until they were out of his mouth. He often found that just talking to her helped him to feel better.

Once he had finished, her face seemed pensive. She rocked back and forth, lost in thought. He was sitting at the foot of her bed facing her. She moved her hand to run it through her hair as she continued her thoughts. Zuko waited patiently. Good advice was hard to get. It had taken him many years to understand this and know that it couldn't be rushed.

"Mai is going to give birth in about a month," Ursa said cryptically.

Zuko had to admit, that was the one thing he still hadn't learned about good advice - it always was told to him cryptically. He didn't understand why people just didn't come right out and explain what they meant. None the less, he had been through this a fair share of times and decided to go along, knowing eventually, if he looked at it from enough angles, it was sure to hit him in the face.

"Yeah. The mid-wife is saying about only a month now."

"A woman who was married by the Fire Lord, and married to one of his Generals. A very honored baby," Ursa said with a smile on her face.

Zuko caught on and could kick himself for not thinking of it on his own.

"A baby that would be better honored if the Avatar would come and offer blessings. I'll have to send a letter to the Avatar right away. Babies are always being born early, so I should tell him to get here as soon as possible," Zuko said with a smirk.

"That's a wise idea, my son. I'm sure Mai would enjoy that. Do be sure to let her know about it some time before Aang shows up," She replied.

Zuko stood and walked to his mother. He hugged and thanked her. He left quickly and made it back to his room as fast as he could. Without hesitation he wrote up a letter to Aang asking if he would come and bless the baby. He made it as official as he could and was sure not to skip putting the Fire Lord crest on the paper.

More as an after thought, he made a duplicate of the letter and had it addressed to Mai. He wanted her to see word for word what he had asked. It would be a lot easier than simply trying to explain to her. He wasn't entirely sure if she would willingly go along with it, but he would take that up with her after she had gotten the note.

He took a few extra minutes and made out notes to his Uncle, Sokka, and Katara. The rest would get word through them. He managed to find enough hawks to get them all sent out that night. A grin spread across his face as he sent the one addressed to Aang out.

Aang would be able to go on about duty to the rest of their friends, but if it was duty he wanted, Zuko was about to bind him with it.

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Footnote: Please Review. Your feedback is very helpful.


	4. Your old Sifu

**A/N:This chapter was supposed to actually be posted up a few days ago, but no point in crying over that now. I hope the fact that this chapter is much longer than the rest can make up for that. You are also now going to get a small view point from Aang. Please don't tell me that he is repetitive or that his thoughts go circular, that was actually done on purpose. There is something very much wrong with him in this story and this is only a very tiny glimpse of it. With that out of the way let the chapter start.**

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Zuko sat beside the duck pond in the garden, starring blankly into the water. His quiet thoughts were interrupted by a guard informing him that Appa had been spotted. He stood quickly and rushed out of the garden. Servants made their way out of the halls as he passed. Zuko threw open the palace doors.

It had only been one week since he had sent the note to Aang, and hadn't actually expected to see him for another week. Aang must have taken Zuko's line about babies often arriving early to heart. Zuko figured that was the only reason he was seeing them so soon. He heaved a sigh of relief.

Appa landed just at the foot of the stairs that led to the palace doors. Zuko smiled to himself, remembering how flustered the guards used to get when they landed in the garden. It had finally been worked out that Aang would land just inside the main gate. That way he wouldn't get mobbed by the outside crowds, and the guards felt more secure that he wasn't landing directly in the palace. It all seemed a matter of protocol to them.

One of the guards came up to Aang as he jumped off the bison. He turned over the reins to the guard who would lead Appa to the stables, where they had specially built one to house the creature. Zuko just barely realized that Momo was still in the saddle as the guard led them away. He turned back to Aang and examined him. Aang wore a white robe tied with a blue sash that matched his arrows. A yellow air necklace hung from his neck. His shoes were from Earth Nation and the bracelets adorning his wrists were that of the Fire Nation. It was a practical Avatar outfit used to show him representing all the elements.

It took Zuko a moment to realize that Aang carried a new glider. It was only then that he noticed how much taller Aang had gotten. If Aang still had his old staff he would have been taller than it, and there was a likely possibility he wouldn't even be able to fly with it. The monk was still shorter than him, but that probably had a lot to do with the last growth spurt Zuko had had. He had put on a lot more height. It seemed like not much else had changed, though.

That was all the time he was allowed to think before Aang finished his trek up the stairs. He reached out his hand to shake with Zuko, but Zuko had long ago adjusted to Aang's usual greeting and pulled him into an embrace before he had any time to react. He squeezed the monk, probably a little too tightly in his excitement at finally seeing him after so long. He pulled back and gave him a smile. A look crossed Aang's face too quickly for Zuko to figure out before the monk's face emptied of expression.

"The Avatar has not been seen in these parts for a long time. Two years really is too long. The Fire Nation welcomes you," Zuko said officially.

"The Fire Lord and his nation are gracious. As per your request, I will stay and bless the child when it's born. Until that time though, there is the discussion of lodging. Perhaps we can speak of this in a place more to your liking and comfort," Aang answered back in the same capacity.

Zuko had to give Aang credit, he had gotten really good at talking to officials. Zuko had to remind himself though that Aang had four years of constant practice.

"That seems like a wise course of action," Zuko replied.

He led the way into the palace. Servants bowed where ever they passed. To any person who was not familiar with the palace it was easy to get lost. He still remembered how he had numbered all the halls as a kid to remember how to get everywhere. He lead them into a library. It was a quiet place he liked to go when he had guests. Though with Mai as far along in the pregnancy as she was, it had been a while since he had any personal guests.

The prince took one of the many chairs around the room and sat down. Aang took that as his cue to have a seat in another chair. He picked the one next to Zuko. Aang sat and adjusted a bit to get comfortable. Zuko couldn't hold in the grin any longer.

"Has it really been two years since you were last here?" Zuko asked.

"It was more like a year and a half. You and Mai had already been broken up for a while and you wanted to celebrate Avatar day with me," Aang answered, but shifted a bit uncomfortably.

"You're right. Uncle and Toph were here and even Sokka. That was when he spiked the drinks with cactus juice," Zuko said laughing a little nervously. He changed the topic quickly, "So what sort of great world deeds have you been doing recently?"

Zuko already knew all he had to say from all the reports he had been gathering, but he wanted to avoid that topic. He tried not to think about that long ago night, but after it had been brought up, he couldn't stop. No wonder Aang hadn't been back here since. Zuko couldn't really blame him. That had been the night he realized that it wasn't Mai so much he was missing, just the companionship.

He still couldn't clearly remember all the details of that night, but one thing he did know for sure, it had been a lost Aang in the garden that he had kissed to breathlessness. He had left the smaller boy panting and flushed when he heard Katara's voice calling for Aang. Zuko had never known he could hop the garden wall like that and was determined to never try anything so stupid again. Aang had forgiven him the next morning. He hadn't said anything to anyone, assuming it was just the cactus juice that had made Zuko hallucinate to think he was Mai because Zuko must have missed her so much. Zuko didn't have the heart to tell Aang that the only thing he had been hallucinating about was that they were not in the garden, but on the beach.

Many interesting dreams had kept him company for a while after that. He still wasn't sure if he had entirely shaken them all off, but he didn't want his friend to see him like some of the other sleazy officials that were out there. That one incident had caused Aang to not drop by for a year and half, until he was royally summoned back, it wouldn't help the situation any if Zuko let on about any of the dreams or stirrings they caused.

The prince tried hard to listen to Aang and how he had solved a dispute between two farmers who couldn't even remember what the dispute was over anymore. He struggled hard to pay attention to the words Aang spoke, but found himself so much more interested in watching Aang. Zuko finally settled on looking at the floor.

Zuko thought at first that it was his ears playing tricks on him when Aang asked about sleeping arrangements, but then he remembered that they hadn't talked about it. He grinned sheepishly.

"I think the best solution would be if you stayed here. There is plenty of room for you here and of course you're free to roam the place. Most importantly, if Mai goes into labor it would be easiest to find you here. Besides, I thought that while you were here we might be able to talk and maybe get some sparring in. No one around here will fight me even half seriously since I'm the Fire Lord. You can show me what being in the back parts of the world has taught you," Zuko said feeling hopeful.

"I fear you would find me a poor match these days. I've grown rather used to all the talks and the lack of fists and bending. As you have said, they are the back parts of the world, what they have taught is not much worth mentioning in a place so grand. However, I do think I'll take you up on the room," Aang said falling into polite speech.

Zuko couldn't stop feeling annoyed at being addressed so politely by a close friend. He tried his hardest not to let it show on his face. He tried again.

"Come on Aang, your old Sifu wants to see what his student has learned."

Another look crossed Aang's face too fast for Zuko to read. He cursed himself for being too slow at picking these things up. He knew it wasn't really his fault, but more that Aang had just gotten too good at this game. He seemed to be a pro at making a stoic face and keeping his thoughts concealed.

"I traveled long and hard to get here so fast, perhaps another time we might pick up this conversation. For now I think rest is in order," Aang said, totally side stepping the conversation.

Mentally, Zuko kicked himself. He knew Aang was right, that he had traveled far and rather quickly to get here as fast as he had. He should have probably led him to his room as soon as it was agreed upon. He was making a very poor host indeed. He stood and moved for the door. Aang followed him, a few steps behind.

Zuko expertly made his way through the castle to his own private chambers. The best guest room to be offered was just across the hall from the Fire Lords room. This served two purposes. The first being that who ever stayed in there felt equal to the Fire Lord and the servants would treat them as such too. The second reason being that whoever was usually in that room was someone that could easily slip into the Fire Lord private rooms without any of the palace having to know. Aang had always stayed there in the past so he didn't give it a second thought, but Zuko couldn't shake the fact that this time it seemed somehow awkward.

The doors to the room stood open. The maids had already cleaned the place up. News of Aang's arrival had apparently made its way through the palace. They had done a nice job of making the place look good. Aang's travel pack was placed on chest at the foot of the bed already. Zuko made a mental note to give the head maid an extra day off; she had really outdone herself. He gestured for Aang to enter ahead of him.

Aang moved into the room and was about half way to the large canopy bed before he turned back to Zuko.

"I'm really happy you came. I hope you get some sleep. I plan on taking the next few days off so that we can spend some time together. I think the people would be happy to see the Fire Lord and the Avatar being close once again. I think it would settle a lot of people's hearts to see us so," Zuko told him.

He left out saying that some of them would be their close friends and even his own heart. He closed the door and turned down the hall to go make plans for the next few days. His parting words had ensured that Aang would not avoid him until the baby was born. Aang would see it as his duty to keep the peace, even if it was just peace of mind.

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Aang collapsed on the bed. He curled up to the pillow and buried his face into it. He breathed deeply. It held a smell that Aang would forever associate as a part of this palace. A part of him couldn't help feeling that it was nice to be back here. The first year after the war was over, he had spent a lot of time here. It had seemed almost like a home. The only time he really left was when he was making his rounds over to the other major cities for various meetings. Still, he was always so happy to return.

The year after that had been a bit more difficult. They had discovered that there was a group of followers that were loyal to Ozai. The secret supporters had managed to find strength with those that were anti-Zuko. Problem was that they were not just some random Fire Nation people, there was a large group and they were everywhere. Aang had spent a lot of that year fighting to keep the peace he had worked so hard to earn. He ended up traveling all over the world trying to put a stop to it all. That first year had given them plenty of time to dig in and set up. It was partly how he realized just how much the world still needed him. It made his heart sore thinking on how much he had messed up the first year by not going after them. He blamed himself that peace was nearly broken so easily.

The third year was spent heading from one town to another setting up treaty after treaty. He had been happy to come back here when he could, but all that stopped after Avatar day. From then on, when he was in the Fire Nation, it was a good distance from the palace. The year before had ingrained into his mind how easy it was for rebellion to start. It was a fear and worry he began to feel every day. He didn't plan to let that happen. So between the events of Avatar day and his new founded fear of arising conflict, he had set his mind towards Avatar duty, deciding nothing else mattered. He had buried himself in it hoping desperately that all his efforts could stop all the bloodshed.

There was always the thought that more Ozai supporters could be out there. There was always the chance that Earth Kingdom could start a war. There were far too many possibilities and because of that, he kept traveling. Peace was too fragile. He wouldn't ever forgive himself if a war broke out because he was too busy goofing off with his friends. He had given up all of his personal life. Every day he pushed himself harder and further to be neutral, knowing it was the only answer.

This last year had been the real trial. He endured so much. Giving up his friends and the only people he had been close to had been hard, but he knew that the world would be better for it. He was able to see this reflected in the way all the treaties he had set up before were still being followed. It was nice to see that all he was really needed for was trade and land disputes. He couldn't stop himself from the need to be everywhere at once to make sure that that was the only problems the countries had. He couldn't stop feeling like no matter what he did, it wasn't enough. He felt like he needed to keep pushing harder.

Katara had tried many times that year to talk to him, but he had made up his mind. He wanted to put duty first. She had flat out told him that she needed him to make a choice between her and his traveling. She wanted him to settle down and marry her, and he told her he had too much duty and obligation. The Avatar couldn't belong to just one person. He represented hope, he had to belong to the world. He had to know how to give everything up so that he could make peace a reality. He had to be neutral. It was all his duty.

The words were not really clear in his head. He remembered her talking and crying and telling him to chose and he remembered telling her only that his duty came first. That marrying her was not a part of it. He had left then. As he left the north pole in the cold night, he knew that he should be feeling something. The few tears that fell from his eyes told him that much, but he couldn't feel anymore. All he could do was think. Think on how much he was making the world a safer place for her and her people.

Their friends and even Katara had sent him message after message wanting him to come and see them and spend time. Each one like the one before it. He had told them all that his duty was still coming first. He still had far too much to do with keeping peace safe. They couldn't seem to get it. He had questioned over and over again why they couldn't seem to understand it. Was peace so meaningless to them? Couldn't they appreciate everything he was doing? Didn't they know that these sacrifices were for the best? He was doing it all for them. They sent him more letters and even got angry with him over it. Finally he decided to just stop responding to them. They couldn't see the need to protect the peace like he did. They obviously couldn't understand him, so messaging them back was pointless. Until he saw the Royal seal.

He hadn't been able to figure out why his hands had slightly shook as he opened the letter. He read it a few time to let it all sink it. He knew Mai had gotten married and even heard that she was pregnant, but he hadn't expected Zuko to go so far as to want the baby blessed. Though given Zuko and her past history, he really should have guessed it. He had done the same thing for Sokka and Suki when their daughter was born three years ago. Still, it took a bit of time to think before he reached a decision.

He knew he had to come, that he couldn't reject a Royal Summon. A part of him wanted to. It wanted him to run in the opposite direction as far away from Zuko as he could. It was strange even to him that he was still able to feel something. Something that was more than the constant push of duty. He knew how difficult this was going to be and from the moment he had gotten here it didn't seem as if he had been wrong.

Aang stuffed his face deeper in the pillow thinking of the way Zuko had hugged him. That first year, he had demanded that whenever he came back he be greeted with a hug. Zuko was not really a touchy type of person, but he wasn't one to tell the Avatar no either. Over time his hugs went from being a simple, one-armed thing to being a sincere hug that made Aang feel like he was welcome back home. Now it just seemed foolish. Zuko had squeezed him and Aang had had to stop himself from bending him twenty feet away. That instinct to run had been yelling at him then. He had managed to keep his feeling controlled.

Zuko had watched the floor in the library and seemed pensive. It was that part of him that made him happy he had come back. That part of him that made him pick the chair next to his friend and not across the room. Zuko's feelings seemed really conflicted. He was placing duty above all else, but Aang couldn't stop his need and desire to want to help Zuko. He wanted to do whatever he could to help the person who had helped him so much. Aang was betting that it was probably so much time in the palace alone, that suddenly having a companion had gotten his feelings all mixed up.

Asking about his sleeping arrangements seemed like a good idea. Zuko had managed to look pretty apologetic about not offering sooner. He really was trying hard. Loneliness did bad things to good people, Aang had determined.

Zuko asking him to stay in the palace should not have been a shock, but he couldn't help noticing that some part of him felt relieved. He didn't even realize that he had wanted to stay here so much.

Then Zuko had said something about them sparring and Aang froze. If it wasn't for all his practice dealing with officials, he would have probably been a statue. A part of his brain went off with flags and bells ringing that that was a bad idea. Though the rest of him was questioning why. His feelings were beginning to brush the surface and he was beginning to feel conflicted over everything. The need to run kept welling up inside of him.

When Zuko refused Aang's polite answer and even went so far as to call on their previous student and master relationship, the part of him that wondered why went running for the hills with the rest. Once again he found himself striving not to bend Zuko twenty feet from him and flee as fast as he could. It was a really hard urge not to give in, but thankfully he had mastered staying calm.

Aang relied on just pretending that he didn't notice and claimed he was tired. After dealing with everything recently, it wasn't untrue. He saw Zuko flinch. He felt guilty. He knew Zuko was apparently dealing with some inner struggle and now he had just made him feel bad, because he wasn't being a good host. They walked on in silence to his room. It wasn't until they were just down the hall from it that he recognized the rooms.

His heart seemed to have stopped for a moment when he realized that his room was across from Zuko's. For the many times he had stayed here, that thought had never really crossed his mind before, but now it seemed like his body was processing it so much that everything had suddenly shut down. He walked on still pretending not to notice, locking everything away and went into the room.

He was just determining that for as much as he wanted to help Zuko he probably shouldn't, and that it would probably be best if he avoided Zuko all together until Mai gave birth, when Zuko's parting words hit him on two levels. On the one level, he was so sincere about being happy for him to be around that it made up for everything Aang had been feeling. Aang felt guilty immediately. He reminded himself that he giving up his friends was actually in their best interest, so he used it to be sure that he stuck to his decision to avoid Zuko. On the next level, Zuko had pulled in his duty. He had called him on it, saying that it would settle people's hearts. Aang knew the war had been hard and that the Fire Nation as a whole felt bad for trying to capture him. Seeing the Fire Lord and the Avatar being friendly would most certainly help to stop some of the uneasiness. If it had the potential to stop even some of the Anti-Zuko people, then he knew it would be worth it. Zuko had completely broken his avoidance theory. Aang tried to smother the tiny part of him that felt really glad that Zuko had.

The stay had only just begun and it was already showing signs of being another challenge to his duty. Zuko may very well get the sparring he was looking for, but most likely in a way he wouldn't expect, because Aang knew he wouldn't go down without a fight.

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Footnote: Reviews are very much loved. I usually respond to my reviewers, so if you have a question, please feel free to ask. Though my response may be a little delayed as I will mostly offline the next 4-7 days.


	5. White Is The Color Of Neutrality

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar, I make no money from writing this. **

**A/N: I know that this chapter may seem like filler for a lot of people and that only the end area will seem like actual plot, but I assure you, it will be relevant in future chapters. Since I really don't want to give that away, on with the story.**

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Zuko woke to an unfamiliar sight. The early morning sun had already made it's way across his room. He had grown accustomed to waking before the sun rose, or waking to rise with it. It was a nice change to greet him. He laid in bed comfortably for a few moments longer, trying to keep the warmth it offered. It had been an all around good night of sleep, something he had not had the privilege of experiencing in the last year.

The Fire Lord robes lay across a chair next to his closet. The maids always placed the robes on the same chair before Zuko went to sleep each night so he would awake to clean clothes. It was the same style - the same robe, over and over again. He thought there had to be about a dozen of them lurking in some secret corner, but, for all he knew, it could have simply been two that they swapped out continually. It was just one of the few things that he took advantage of each day.

Slipping out of bed, he by-passed the robes and opened the closet. After a quick moment of looking he pulled out a red sleeveless wrap shirt and matching red pants that hung loosely around his hips. He dressed himself and pushed his feet into a pair of red, hard bottomed slippers. It wasn't until he faced his own reflection from the back of the door that he considered his hair. Nostalgia had caused him to keep it at the length it had been when he became Fire Lord. He ran a hand through it, nudging it down where it stood on end. He tried to brush strands out of his eyes before he gave it up as a lost cause and opened the door.

Even with the sun shining in his room, he knew that it was still early morning. He wanted to head across the hall into Aang's room and awaken him, but was a bit shocked when he looked past the open door to the empty room. The only sign that Aang was still about was the pack that sat on the chest at the end of the bed. Zuko managed to fight off the rising panic as he stared at the pack. He didn't really see Aang as the type to go running off in the middle of the night, but people had done stranger things.

The lack of servants perplexed Zuko as he moved down the corridor. He couldn't figure out why it was that there always seemed to be a dozen in sight when he walked through the halls, but now that he was actually looking for them, he could hardly find one. Right when he was beginning to wonder if they had all run off, he ran into a maid. He stopped the woman.

"Have you seen the Avatar this morning?" he asked.

"He was in the kitchen when I left, My Lord," she answered with a small bow. He waved her on.

It was a short walk to the kitchen, so he strolled his way over there. He half expected the state of the kitchen when he got there. It was the where all the missing servants seemed to be. As his eyes roamed, he realized that Aang was no where in sight. However, the sight of all the servants was a great judge that Aang had left not long ago. Whenever Aang was about, people gathered. The easiest way to find him was to follow the path of flocked people. Nevertheless, he pulled one of the servants away and asked for Aang's whereabouts, nodding when the man told him it was the stables.

He managed to go around the kitchen instead of trying to go through it and breaking up the servants. The excitement in the kitchen was tangible. The servants would be back to their work in no time. Until that time, he wouldn't begrudge them their happiness about the Avatar returning.

Through the front doors and around the side of the yard was the fastest way to the stables. Aang was probably just checking on his bison. It had become a common occurrence when he stayed, but Zuko couldn't remember Aang actually getting up so early to do so. There had been a few times that servants had informed him that Aang had slept out in the stables with his bison, but that had been in the very early days, when the stable was just finished. When Zuko had asked him about it, Aang had just shrugged, stating that he didn't want Appa to be lonely. Since that time, Zuko had set up a rotation of stable boys to check on Appa to keep him company. Aang had commented afterwords, laughingly, that if Appa got any more treats from the stable boys he was liable to get so fat he wouldn't be able to fly.

A small smile flitted across Zuko's lips as he made his way out the front doors and down the path leading to the stables. When Aang had decided to make this place a constant check point in his travels, so many things had been created just to cater to him. The stables were only the start. Staff in certain places had been doubled, and even a few new positions made. One example being the pet groomer. If Aang hadn't always been coming around with Momo, inspiring others to come around with other exotic pets, than a royal groomer most certainly wouldn't have been needed. A person whose only job was to pamper the pets of attending guests. The little lemur was probably off there now. Times certainly had changed.

His thoughts had carried him up to Appa's pen. Though "pen" was really the wrong term for it. The bison practically had his own house. Nearly one whole wall was capable of sliding open to let him in and out. The place was filled with hay, not for the bison to eat, but for resting purposes. Appa, like his owner, preferred only the best fruit. The place was certainly spacious. It was also lacking Aang.

Zuko turned his back to the pen and craned his neck, looking around the stables and scanning about the empty yard for the airbender. In his search he realized that Appa had made his way over to him. The huge bison licked his face and hair. Zuko had to admit, he was glad he had given his hair up as a lost cause, because it certainly was one now. This had been a normal greeting for the bison. Zuko would never admit he was happy to be slobbered on, but this time he truly was. He reached his hands out and pet the soft creature around the face. He looked at it's arrowed head and realized for the first time that a part of him had really missed the bison.

The day he helped to set Appa free was a day Zuko would always view as one of his greatest days. His darker thoughts had ruled him in those days, and for him to be able to do something like turning Appa free had proved that no matter where he lurked in the dark of his mind, there was always some light shining in there somewhere.

Zuko stayed with the bison for a short time, waiting on the next stable boy to appear. The poor boy had been rather shocked when he opened Appa's pen and found the Fire Lord sitting amongst the hay. The kid had nearly spilled all the sugar cubes he had stacked up on one arm, most likely one of the spare snacks meant for the bison. The blush that spread on the boy's face as he eyed the sugar cubes, then Appa, and then Zuko, gave him away all too quickly. The boy bowed awkwardly.

The boy made no further movements, so Zuko rose to his feet and walked over to the kid. He grabbed one of the sugar cubes and ate it. They were really not his thing, but he wanted to find some way to calm the frightened boy. The stable boys were much like the servants - only too excited to see Appa return. It was more a treat for the newer ones who had only heard legends, and judging by the boy's reaction at having the Fire Lord in front of him, it was easy to guess that he was one of the newer ones. Zuko tried to give the boy what he hoped was an indulgent smile. The kid rewarded him with a glowing smile and moved over to Appa, who happily walked over and started munching the sugar cubes. The boy used his free arm to pet the bison as it ate happily. Zuko almost felt guilty to break the happy atmosphere.

"Have you heard where the Avatar is?" Zuko questioned.

The boy stopped and looked at Zuko before saying, "All the stable tenders were over at the groomer with the Avatar asking him what kind of snacks Appa likes best."

Zuko nodded and gave the bison one last pat before leaving. The groomer was at the opposite end of the path he had taken earlier. He sped his steps a little to make up for the time he had spent in the stable. He barely noticed the steps up to the front palace door as he passed. He had rarely gone to see the groomers before, but the path was simple enough - that is until his vision was suddenly obscured by the ball of white fur that clung to his face.

He carefully removed Momo from his face. The lemur chattered happily at him. Zuko scratched it behind the ears absentmindedly. He looked up from the monkey that was now perched on his arm to see at least a dozen different stable boys bowing at him.

The smile he gave them wasn't as effective as the one he had given the lone stable boy. He knew that it was probably a bit more unsteady here. He rarely ever ventured into the stables and was unfamiliar with most of the faces. It was only worsened by the fact that he had never been good in a crowd. There were only a few which rewarded him with smiles in return. The rest looked apprehensive. He moved to the nearest and lowered his arm to the boy's shoulder, letting the lemur jump onto it. He questioned them as to Aang's whereabouts, and was told that the Avatar had made his way back to his room.

Zuko quietly cursed himself. The morning was wearing on and he still hadn't found him. He hurried to Aang's room, only to find it empty.

It turned into a wild goose chase. He went from one end of the palace to another. The sun had already passed its zenith when he finally managed to feel like he was gaining on his target. Small signs that he was getting closer kept appearing, until finally he had been told that Aang had made his way to the heart of the palace. Zuko knew that he would find Aang there. It was a spot they often used to talk.

The empty arena made the soft padding of his feet sound much louder. He looked around at the empty seats before lowering his eyes to a person clad in white in the middle of the raised platform. Aang sat meditating until Zuko climbed on the platform. Zuko felt all the frustration he had felt about having to chase after Aang fade.

The airbender stood, and Zuko took a moment to take in his outfit. A white shirt that came down in a V-neck - had Zuko not known the style, he would have thought the shirt far too big for Aang, with the over sized sleeves that hung down, hiding his hands. The shirt hung to his knees, but had slits up both sides that went up to where a white sash was tied at the waist. Aang's white pants didn't hang loose like Zuko's, but clung to him instead. On his feet were slippers much like Zuko's, only, again, white.

"I began to think that if I didn't wait on you, you'd never catch me," Aang said, breaking the silence.

"You've always been really good at running, but I don't give up the chase so easily," Zuko retorted.

The Fire Lord made his way over to the edge of the platform and took a seat. Aang moved beside him and sat down.

"You were up early this morning. Did you not sleep well?" Zuko asked.

"I wake before the sun every morning," Aang answered.

"You have been very busy today," Zuko commented.

"I'm busy every day."

Zuko frowned. He felt like Aang was being stubborn. There was certainly something wrong. He just wished he could put his finger on what. There were many times when conversation had been hard for him, but since the war had ended, he couldn't recall conversation ever having been so difficult.

All the usual conversation pieces Zuko had he couldn't use. He couldn't bring up talking about friends, knowing that that would only push Aang away further. He had already asked about what Aang had been up to last night. He knew that Aang had already been all over the palace and seen everyone and gotten news about everything. There was the weather, but he down right refused to ask about that. All that left at this point was the obvious.

"You've been wearing nothing but white since you got here. I thought that you would be wearing your usual yellows and oranges," Zuko said.

"I can't," was the simple response.

"Do you mean you only brought those plain white clothes with you? If that's the case, I know the old stuff you left behind won't fit you anymore, but we can get some made for you before the day is out," Zuko offered, half ready to get up.

"No. It's true that all I really brought with me is various sets of white clothes, but I can't wear yellow or oranges any more. White is the color of neutrality. With white, even a splash of any other color quickly turns it to that other color. Each kingdom has their own set of colors that they are associated with. If I'm seen wearing them, I'm seen as being biased to that kingdom. I can't be seen like that. I can't belong to just one kingdom. I must belong to them all. I must be neutral, even in my clothes. So, if I wear colors for one kingdom, I must wear colors for all of them. White is easier," Aang explained.

Zuko was finally able to put his finger on what was wrong. Aang's voice sounded numb. Thanks to Aang's own words, Zuko had a word for it. Aang was neutral. It wasn't just his clothes, it was everything, from expression to voice to posture. Zuko gripped the edge of the platform hard to try and keep his hand from visibly shaking. Their friends hadn't been wrong, but they had no idea the extent of the problem either.

"Aang..." He let the name hang in the air.

Zuko kept his eyes trained on the younger boy until he finally turned and looked Zuko in the eyes. Gold met silver as their eyes locked. Zuko knew that this was not the same boy that had left all that time ago. Aang's eyes were easy to compare to silver, with the way they always shined with expression. It had the ability to really light up his face. Even when angry, the sliver of his eyes seemed more like storm clouds, but never like they were now. The silver eyes were now dull, blank, and empty.

Zuko fled.

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Footnote: This chapter has a two part dedication. First, to my very best friend and editor. I put the poor guy through so much work. Secondly, to the reader. A lot of you don't review, but my traffic section tells me I get a lot of you guys reading this story. So if you are reading this, (and my traffic counter is not lying to me) Thanks for at least taking the time to do so.


	6. You Were Only Trying To Help

**A/N: I don't know where to apologize first, that it took so very long to get this out or that its un-beta'd. **

**I actually had this completed on the 2nd, but couldn't get it beta'd and eventually just gave up on getting it checked, so now I'm just posting it. The reason it took me until the 2nd to get it done is that my hard drive crashed and died. I had to start everything over from scratch and the hardest part was losing the outline. I know where I want the story to go, but I had a lot of plot points planned out and now its a little touch and go. As a reward for waiting so long, I'm giving the reason for Aang's break down a bit earlier then I planned. A note about the next chapter, I'm going to get it out as fast as I can, but my laptop is pretty much down (The new hard drive causes it to overheat and shut off) and all my writing has to be done on my boyfriend's borrowed computer, so don't expect it too soon. Enough about the writer's personal issues... On with the story.**

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Aang roamed the halls quietly. He refused to admit that he was lost. The one thing he had learned from the palace was that if you just kept searching you were sure to find your way. There was also a chance of running into someone who knew where you were going and would lead you there. Asking for direction inside the palace was simply embarrassing. If the Avatar couldn't even find his way around the palace, then he was certainly not competent enough to do his job.

The palace had the ability to easily confuse. Aang knew it had been rebuilt that way on purpose. Zuko and Azula had wiped out a decent amount of the palace in their fight years ago. Walls and gates stood no chance against their comet amplified powers. When it came time to rebuild, the thoughts of possible invasions had been considered. They left as much intact as possible, but built further around it to turn it nearly into a labyrinth. If Aang had to judge, he would say that they might have done their job a little too perfectly.

After heading down the third hall that looked just the same as the first, Aang decided to put more thought into where he was going. His thoughts had been more lost then he actually was. There was something about Zuko's retreating form as left the arena that made Aang's thoughts run rampant. He couldn't deny the twist in his stomach. It was the feeling of rejection.

Aang had believed that he was past nearly all feeling. The only emotion that kept him company anymore was the constant fear that hounded him. He had done all that he could to close himself off from it, but all it had done was make him numb. The feeling that had been stirred up started a chain reaction of feelings that Aang wasn't sure he knew how to deal with anymore.

"Stupid Zuko," Aang said to himself.

It had been Zuko's fault. He had years of practice with Katara, shutting her out and closing off everything from her. It had become too easy to do. Sokka and Toph were both people he only had to put up a strong front and could brush what they said off later. The rest of his friends were never close enough to know how to get past even his first defenses, except Zuko. Zuko had learned how to get under his skin from nearly day one.

He was one of those people that were an utter anomaly. As the enemy, Zuko had chased him for the hope that the Avatar stood for. The belief that Aang's capture might validate Zuko's existence to his father held him too strong. The banished prince tried with little success to become a better person. It was an absolute shock for all when Zuko had managed to come to Aang one day telling him that he wanted to join their group. The sudden change still baffled him. He had asked Zuko plenty of times what had him change his mind, but it seemed a closely guarded secret that the Fire Lord wouldn't tell.

Zuko was constantly doing things that only seemed to make sense to Zuko. He acted as if his motives should have been as clear as the sky being red. Zuko seemed to forget that the sky was only red during sunsets and only if viewed from certain places. It had taken Aang a bit of practice at dealing with the firebender before he had figured that out.

The way Zuko managed to change so much while still remaining the same, unbalanced Aang. Right when he believed he had Zuko figured out, the guy would do something totally unexpected. It made him the hardest to block off. A person can't block what they never see coming. The only answer had been to cut off contact. He had been trying to minimize contact when Zuko invited him to the palace for Avatar day.

Much like today, Aang had been lost on that day. He had been happy to realize he found the garden. He had taken a moment in the garden to get some fresh air when he realized that he wasn't alone. Zuko was lurking about. The firebender had once again done something that left Aang utterly baffled. The emotions that he was trying to close himself off from suddenly hit like a rampaging bear and brought along dozens more that he had never even considered. That had been the last straw.

Aang had left that day and decided that he wouldn't come back. The plan to lessen contact turned into one of completely cutting off contact instead. He had succeeded for a year and half. He spent that time trying to cut off every emotional tie he had. He couldn't afford them.

Peace was a costly thing. It took everything from him and kept asking for more. He had broken every vow he had ever made and lost himself as a person. He knew that he would do whatever it took to uphold the peace.

Aang turned another corner and heaved a sigh of relief. He had finally managed to find a hall that he knew. This was the opposite side of the palace from what he wanted, but he figured he might as well pay a visit. He made his way down to the familiar door at the end of the hall. He gave a hard knock on the door. He pushed the door open at the consent for entrance and stood just within it.

"Good day to you Lady Ursa," Aang said.

Zuko's mother sat on her bed with an embroidery project in her lap. Aang guessed from the colors and shape that it was a baby blanket. The woman smiled at him.

"It's good to see you Avatar Aang," Ursa replied.

"Have I come at a bad time?"

"Not at all. I see you far too rarely. I missed you on Avatar Day, so its been much longer since we actually spoke."

Aang nodded before saying, "If I recall correctly, you were sick that day."

"Yes, a cold that seems to come and go. Iroh sends the best tea that seems to help though. Enough about me, let's talk about you," She said waving a dismissive hand.

Aang shifted the weight from one foot to the other. His fingers twitched. His eyes went automatically to the floor. This wouldn't end well.

She noticed the changes and frowned before saying, "It doesn't seem as if you have fully recovered."

He didn't have to ask her what she was talking about. She was the only one who would ask about it. Everyone else seemed to think it was taboo. The truth being that it was, but he would never admit it, not to them and certainly not to himself.

"It was years ago Aang." Her words echoed in his mind.

_There had been rumors of an Anti-Zuko group. Nobody really believed they would be much of a threat. Peace had already been achieved a year ago. If they were not going to do anything in that year, it __seemed unlikely that they would suddenly do anything now._ _They had all been so wrong. _

"Nobody saw it coming."

_The Anti-Zuko group had joined up with the Ozai supporters. The first year they had chosen not to do anything so that they could gather strength. They dug in deep and set up several bases in various kingdoms. The leading one being just outside the Fire Nation capital. It was like a pit of vipers. They had trained long and hard with only the thought of Zuko's downfall in mind. _

"Your friends were there."

_The group grew far too powerful to just subdue, they had to be wiped out. Their friends knew that Aang would never take a life so they left him to guard over Zuko at a near by command post. Zuko had put Sokka and Suki in charge of the attack with over thirty firebender at their disposal. Toph was to be acting back up, with twenty soldiers under her command. Katara and the handful of other medics they had would be on the scene trying to heal whatever injuries they could. It was a bloody massacre, but for which side was hard to say. Every fighter brought that day saw combat._

"You were only trying to help."

_Zuko had been so down. Aang had suggested they take a walk around the command post. He wanted to cheer Zuko up. Aang wasn't too happy knowing what was happening only a short distance away either, but the last group of assassins had made it as far as Zuko's room. Something had to be done. Aang walked next to Zuko playfully chucking balls of air at him that wouldn't do much more than muss up his hair or wrinkle his clothes. In no time, Zuko was grinning and Aang was paying so much attention to it and trying to keep it there that he nearly missed that assassin flying down on them before it was too late._

"It was an accident."

_Aang had barely saw the assassin coming down from the nearby roof. He was going to land right on Zuko, blades first. Aang did the only thing he could think of, he shot blast of air at the person and caught the guy in it and then slammed the guy to the ground nearby. What he hadn't counted on was the stack of wooden boxes and crates that he flung the guy into. The man hit them with the sound of several sickening cracks. Aang's eyes grew wide as listened. He ran over as fast as his legs would carry him and pulled everything off the guy that had fallen on him. The assassin lay in a quickly forming pool of blood. A shattered piece of wood stuck awkwardly through his lungs. _

"Nobody blames you."

_He couldn't stop the guilt as he gathered the man into his arms listening to his breath rattle as his lung filled with blood and he slowly drown to death. Aang pulled the wood from the man's chest and watched the life leave the man's eyes. He screamed. Screamed until his throat was raw and kept screaming. He woke up in the palace with no memory of how he got there. His hand ached and he barely saw through the dried blood on his hand that they were filled with splinters from the where he had pulled out the wood earlier. His guilt overwhelmed him and he emptied the contents of his stomach. _

"We are all still here for you."

_For weeks he stayed in the palace. His friends had all saw him one after the other. Each trying to remind him that they were there for him. It had been just another reminder to how he had screwed up. All of them had gone to fight and might not have come back, because he had goofed off and hadn't taken the Anti-Zuko movement seriously. When Zuko saw him, he had never felt so much like he was having his heart ripped out. He had come so close to losing him and he was standing not even ten feet from him. His childish ways had nearly cost him his best friend. If only he hadn't been goofing off. If he hadn't, then that man might still be alive today and he wouldn't have the blood on his hands. In those days, he learned fear like he had never known. The thought of a world without them or them facing another bloody battle haunted his every nightmare. _

"Things will get easier."

_He left the palace after that and traveled everywhere. He hunted down every Anti-Zuko and Ozai supporter that he could find. He hardened his heart further and further every day. He would build that better place for them. His friends deserved it. It was so hard at first, but time did help. He stopped waking with night terrors in screams and now just woke to nightmares and felt numb. _

"Zuko wants to help."

Aang forced a small smile and said, "He is a great Fire Lord. He would help the world if he was given half a chance. Thank you for your words, I think its time I head back to my room."

She bid him farewell and with that he was back out in the halls trying to find his room again. Aang knew that since coming here, his resolve had been tested. This was his test to see just how far he would go for his friends. He had wavered a bit, but he knew that he needed to be stronger. He knew that Zuko was only just getting started. His resolve was going to need to stand up to a lot tougher stuff then Zuko's fleeing form. His determination was set.

**Footnote:** Who saw it coming?

Nothing like a pacifist finding blood on his hands... Literally, for a nervous break down.

The important key in all of this is that nobody has realized that this has been festering in him for _years. _


	7. He Became Aang To Me

**AN: Not much to say going in this time other then, my computer is still not fixed, but we are doing everything we can. I've seen the poor thing in pieces a few times already. Updates will be sporadic, but they will continue. Hopefully this decent sized chapter should hold you over. Though I really want to try and get another chapter out shortly. Look forward to it. No beta once again, sorry for the errors.**

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Padded feet paced across the carpeted room. Zuko turned on his toes and made the short walk to the end of his room before returning to his original spot. The walk around his small room was making him feel less like he was getting somewhere and more like he was trapped in a cage. He walked over to his bed and threw himself on it. The Fire Lord lay there with his face buried in the pillows trying to calm the buzzing thoughts in his mind.

"I didn't run away," He mumbled to himself as he rolled over.

The Fire Lord was not one to run away. It was more then that though; he was Zuko. Pride and Honor were two words that would forever go hand and hand in his mind. His pride had been one of the few things he had fought with every fiber of his being to get back. It took him so long to realize that he never lost it, just like his honor. Aang had been the one to show him that.

Zuko fidgeted restlessly as his thoughts circled back around to the Avatar. He knew there was no way to keep his mind off of the boy, not after what he saw. He reached his hand up and clutched his shirt just over his heart trying to sooth the pain that resided there. The very thought of Aang's eyes made his stomach clinch and his chest tighten.

Aang had always been a playful person. Zuko knew that even before they became friends. It was the constant playfulness even when he fought with him that had been stuck in his mind again and again before he had changed sides. The only time he could recall seeing Aang serious in those days was when he explained about his friend from the Fire Nation. The serious look on his face had given even him pause before attacking. When years passed and he saw Aang in meeting after meeting he knew that the Airbender could be serious, but despite that, you could see the constant driving fire in his eyes. The will and determination that drove him gave his silver eyes a hard glint.

With ease, Zuko could call to mind so many times that he remembered watching Aang's furrowed brow as he worked to solve one of the great many issues that followed the war. Aang's silver eyes turning steely with resolve and his brow knitted with the subtle frown marring his expression. Zuko had gotten into the habit of pinching his face and telling him to stop that lest it stick that way. He knew at this point he would trade his crown for that face now. Even that too worried and concerned look was better then what he had seen.

It was lifeless eyes of a doll. He shuddered. There was nothing there. They were blank and empty as if... Zuko didn't even want to think it. The pain in his chest grew as the words still formed.

"It was like he was already dead," he whispered to the empty room.

He tried to tell himself that he was merely over reacting. That the lighting may have been off and he just imagined it. He tried to tell himself anything he could that might let him think it was anything other than an empty shell of a person he cared so much for. Zuko knew the truth though. He knew that if he lied to himself now, that he wouldn't be the one paying the price, Aang would.

Action was what he needed. Zuko hated to admit the truth, but was also practical enough to know that if he didn't there would be fixing it. He would have to, that was the only answer. Their friends had come to him seeking help. At first he had blown it off and his hesitance to do anything had let things get to this point. His avoidance was making Aang suffer.

Zuko felt his stomach turning again and again as he made his way over to his desk to write out a few letters. He didn't know what to say to Katara. How do you tell someone that their break up had crippled and may have emotionally killed Aang? After starring at the blank page for a while, Zuko decided to put off writing Katara till he could figure things out better. He wrote his uncle instead trying to fill in everything he knew.

As he scratched across the parchment, his thoughts traveled. He needed to see Mai. He quickly finished the letter and got it sent out before slipping out as unnoticed as he possibly could. The lack of Fire Lord robes helped, but the scar was still a blatant giveaway.

He knocked on her door in hurried way. He was anxious to be off the streets. He was quickly ushered in by Mai herself. She led him to the living room and gestured to him to have a seat.

"Something on your mind, Zuko?" She asked.

"Yeah, a lot of somethings." He answered.

She didn't rush him. His appearance must have showed he was doing enough of that to himself.

"Aang is at the palace."

"That seems like good news, but the baby doesn't feel like making an appearance yet."

Zuko waved away her statement to show that that wasn't what was bothering him. He took a look around to gather his thoughts.

"Where is your husband?" He asked to stall.

"He is out trying to get me some shaved ice. The baby really wants some." Mai replied with a grin.

Zuko found the corners of his lips turning up in a smile. That was bound to be one very spoiled baby between its parents and Uncle Zuko.

"Zuko, you got something on your mind. What is it you came here to talk about?" Mai asked.

"It's about Aang. It's about Katara. It's about us. It's everything." He sighed and tried again, "Mai when we split apart, I knew it was coming. I was still in a lot of pain anyways. You were the closest person to me and you even went so far as to go against my sister to help me. I'd be an idiot if I couldn't feel the pain of losing you after that. It took me a long time to realize that I never really lost you though and what I really had lost was..."

He trailed off and stared at the floor.

"You can say it. I kind of figured it out a long time ago." Mai assured.

He continued, but didn't lift his eyes from the floor, "I lost a companion. I got used to the thought of having a girlfriend around. Someone to do all those things a girlfriend would. I was sad there was no one, but..."

He trailed off again, but this time Mai finished it, "But it was not me that you were sad about losing."

He looked up at her with guilt written on his face.

"Zuko, you said it yourself, it was more us splitting apart, not so much us breaking up. You and I had become a habit that neither of us really knew how to break. It was a routine. After the war it was so much more important for us to cling to one another simply, because we were all that we were used to. So much was changing then that it was only logical. I don't blame you." She said taking his hand in hers.

Zuko had to admit that it felt so much better to have that clear. He had felt that for so long now, but he never wanted to say anything, because he wouldn't risk the chance that it would hurt her. She at least deserved that much. For her to say the words herself, Zuko finally felt like one of the weights were lifting from him. He knew now that he could try and speak plainly to her.

"Thanks Mai."

"Maaaai! They only had strawberry, I really hope that is fine, because I think the ice will be melted if I have to go to the next town to try and get cherry," A voice called from the door.

Mai sat back on the sofa and scooted over to make room for her husband.

"Oh Fire Lo-... er, uh... Zuko, you're here. If I had known, I would have gotten you some shaved ice." Tezor said nervously.

Zuko shook his head, the captain would always be a captain. It had taken a lot of insisting that he call him Zuko, but he still messed up when surprised.

"I'm alright. Shaved ice just really isn't my thing." Zuko confided.

"That is just, because you don't know how to eat them without making a mess or getting a brain freeze," Mai admonished.

"Who wants to be sticky or have their head hurt? I'd rather not torture myself."

Mai grabbed hers from her husband's out stretched hands as he took the seat next to her. Zuko was sure from the rate she was eating it that she was bound to get a headache.

"I get the feeling that there is more to this talk then just that," Mai said between bites.

Zuko nodded and said, "There is trouble with Aang. I have never seen him like this. His break up with Katara must have been really horrible."

"How so?" She asked.

"He... well, he seems lifeless. He didn't meet my eyes for the longest time and when he finally did, its like an empty shell. I tried talking to him a bit, but he seems a pro at dodging almost anything I say. politics seem to have twisted him. He is all about "Neutrality". Can you imagine an Aang that only wears white? He actually told me that that was all the clothes he had now. I don't know how much of this is what politics have done to him and how much of it is from Katara," Zuko explained with his hand unconsciously gripping his shirt where his chest tighten.

Mai looked at him and seemed to be calculating something in her head. "Tell me more," She said at length.

"I don't understand it. I missed having someone there, I still do, but he is different. To be as hurt as he looks, he must really love Katara. All I can figure is that we never heard Aang's side. She could have lied about how they broke up. She must have done something bad to make him like this. He is trying to just bury himself in work and not face it. That has to be why there was no leveled city when she did it, because he is holding it all in. She probably made him think this is his fault!" Zuko said beginning to rush his words and sound indignant.

"Zuko, what makes you think this is Katara's fault?" Mai asked and tried to keep the amusement out of her voice.

"I don't know! I'm just sure it is." He snapped without thinking.

"Zuko, would you listen to yourself. You should see yourself too. What I think is that you are-"

Tezor stood up suddenly and headed towards the door saying nervously, "I'm heading to the kitchen to make some drinks. I'll be back."

"I'm what?" Zuko asked, trying to get her to finish her sentence.

Mai kept her mouth closed for a moment and stared again at Zuko calculating.

"Zuko, this may be from over work. He is still really young. He has had a lot stress on him. You said it yourself that politics have twisted him. Katara probably told the truth. Aang is most likely just so run over from work he seems lifeless. He probably couldn't take the stress of work with her and they broke up."

"This wasn't just exhaust from over work Mai. This is always happy and always joking Aang now looking like some twisted puppet. Katara just cut his strings. Come on Mai, you know how much he always played around. He was always goofing off. Can't you just remember the way he was always laughing about something, the way his eyes always looked like he just got away with something right before a prank? Can't you remember his smile?" Zuko almost pleaded.

Zuko was shocked at the look Mai was giving him. It was pity.

"I do remember those things, but not at all like you do. Yes, I remember a carefree boy that had a prankster side. Yet, I never spent years of my life hunting that boy and I never spent years locked in meetings with him and I never spent years growing close to him like you did. I suspect that your the only one who sees the problem like this. You are the only one that sees that side of him. Zuko, you're the only one that has that history with him."

He exhaled and said, "For so many years, I saw him as only the Avatar. Even when I became his ally, I still distanced myself at first and could still only see him as that, but there is something about him that doesn't let it stay that way. He became Aang to me. I can't go back to seeing just the Avatar. He is my best friend and I can't stand to see him like this. I can't stand knowing what he used to be like and seeing what he has become. I want to help and fix this."

"There really is only one thing you can do right now. Talk to him. If he tries to avoid it, talk to him some more. Don't give up. Find out what it is that has happened and what is bothering him. You can work out a plan from there. You just have to promise me one thing." Mai told him.

"What is that, Mai?"

"If it turns out that the cause behind all of this is not Katara, promise me that you will consider thinking about if you are actually in love with Aang."

Glass broke in the other room. It sounded suspiciously like someone had dropped a cup.

"Don't worry, I got it covered," Tezor's voice called from the other room.

Zuko just stood in shock. He didn't know what to say. There were so many dreams already and he had just blown them all off. It was still just a part of being lonely he had always told himself. It was to be expected after you've drunkenly made out with your friend. All of it, Zuko had just pushed it off, never once had he actually considered that there might be love. He already knew that there was some. He loved Aang as his closest friend and rival. Would it be alright to think of him as more?

"I'm leaving," Zuko announced.

"Good luck and Zuko please, promise me," Mai called to his retreating back.

He made it to the door and without turning said, "I will Mai."

His mind felt numb as he made his way back to the palace. Mai didn't know about the night of Avatar Day. She didn't know about his recurrent dreams. If she had, would she say she already knew the answer to her promise? Still, dreams and a few kisses didn't mean that he wanted to spend his life waking up to that person every morning. Maybe she was wrong.

Zuko had been caught up in thoughts and was used to people naturally moving out of his way that it came as a real surprise when he felt something bump into him and unbalance him. He felt the person grab hold of him as he tottered, but the person was equally unbalanced too and they toppled to the floor.

"Ow, ow, ow." The person under Zuko muttered.

Zuko opened his eyes that had been squeezed shut from the pain of falling as he recognized the voice. They snapped opened wide and he raised himself up a bit to look down on the boy beneath him. Aang's hand rubbed his head and finally his gray eyes moved up to meet Zuko's and widened to match. Zuko attempted to pull himself up, but found that his legs were oddly tangled with Aang's. He pulled one leg up in hope to free them, but the sudden gasp from the boy beneath him made him stop.

Zuko saw something flicker in Aang's eyes. Something very warm and inviting. Maybe Mai was right. Maybe, it didn't matter who was involved or what had happened. Maybe he could spend the rest of his life happily with Aang.

Golden eyes fell of slightly parted lips only moments before closing. He captured the soft lips with his own. He moved his knee up just a bit more to get the boy give another little gasp and deepened the kiss. His tongue caressed the airbenders mouth. Zuko thought he was in heaven as Aang rolled his tongue. However, that was when he noticed something was wrong.

The first thing he realized was that he seemed to no longer have any air in his lungs. The second thing being that he felt really light. Not just light headed, but whole body wise. Which helped to better explain his body flying through the air. He felt his back hit the ground at least ten feet away from where he had been. After the hard thud of his landing, his lungs gasped in air.

Aang stood over him, his emotionless mask back in place.

"You do that again and I wont just take the air from your lungs, I'll freeze it."

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**Footnote:** Lots of development in this chapter. Zuko has finally decided to act, but it seems like Aang's going to make him work for it. Thanks for reading. Feel free to drop me a review, I may take a bit of time for replies, but I try to always respond.


	8. I Just Know There Has To Be More

**AN: No Apologies. No Beta. Life happens. Just the story and these few words.**

** Going to do everything I can to get this finished before November. **

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The water pooled around his feet. Zuko frowned at the puddle he was making. Mai might have been able to forgive him for it, but the thought of making a mess in her home bothered him. He tried to pretend there was nothing wrong with the chunk of ice that his left foot still seemed to be encased in. He looked back at her. What was a little ice between friends?

She glared at him. Apparently, she felt otherwise.

"Zuko, I told you to talk to him, not start the next bending war," Mai complained.

"I'm doing the best I can! He is the one that is being overly defensive," Zuko replied.

"Trying to molest him does not count as talking to him," She bit back sharply.

Zuko's mouth dropped a bit before he caught himself and snapped it closed. He moved his questioning eyes to look out the window. His brows furrowed.

"What? You think I wouldn't know? I wouldn't be surprised if half the kingdoms know by now! You are the Fire Lord and he is the Avatar! Think Zuko. You could really start a war here and I don't just mean his little tricks on you either."

It wasn't Mai's sharp and biting retorts that got him, but the real sadness in her voice with that last comment that really struck a cord. He heart wrenched a little. The past five days had been a nightmare.

"You guys have had a few of these miss-communications now. People notice things that happen to you. They notice things that happen to him. If you two are fighting, you can certainly believe people are going to notice. Gossip travels faster then messenger hawks," Mai pointed out.

"I'm not going to give up on him, because the country will gossip. If they want to gossip, I will give them something to talk about," Zuko huffed.

Zuko thought for a moment that Mai was going to break something in anger. The thought that he was one of the closest targets did not escape his attention.

"I am just trying to say that I think you were right. I am not so good at figuring out this feeling stuff, but I know that a part of me wishes it could be like old times. There is another part of me just wants more though."

Mai sighed. Zuko couldn't tell if it was frustration or tiredness. It looked like a combination of both. The circles under her eyes showed that she wasn't getting much sleep. He really hoped that she wasn't awake over his problems, but a part of him wished it was that. It would be much better then finding out that she had been up due to pregnancy complications.

"The Air Nation is still small and struggling to get on its feet again. The last thing we need is for them to find out that this has been going on. They would try to use it against the Fire Nation. What if the Earth Kingdom joined with them to restart a war? They would have the rights too. Aang would certainly help them over us, if his tricks are any indication," Mai expressed.

"I get it, Mai. Certain doom. Don't worry so much about that. How are you holding up? You look like you have not gotten any sleep since I last saw you. Anything wrong?" Zuko asked.

"Just very tired. Sleep seems to come often, but seems like no matter how much I sleep, I want to go to sleep two hours after I wake up. However, when I lay down, I can't seem to get comfortable and I end up staying awake. When I do finally fall asleep, I wake up more tired then when I went to bed. Twice these last five days, I've made my husband sleep on this couch for snoring," Mai said with a strained voice.

"I'm sure that as soon as the baby is born, everything will go back to normal," Zuko tried to reassure.

"If by normal, you mean those feedings every three hours in the middle of the night, then yeah, normal."

Zuko winced and tried to think of something else comforting to say, but knew he had never been any good at this.

Mai rescued him by saying, "Don't worry. It's just all the mom stuff. I'm sure I'll get the luxury for the next kid too. Distraction helps. Keep talking to me about things. I've heard some of the rumors, but what all happened?"

He tried to look as innocent as possible while saying, "What do you mean?"

A grin like a hungry cat staring down a canary crossed her face before she said, "Don't give me that. You know exactly what I mean. I know about the block of ice and everyone knows about the earth cage, but I just know there has to be more."

"There is."

"And you are just going to clam up on me like that?"

"It's the only way to keep from being lectured," Zuko replied.

"Fine. Then I will just go tell Aang that I'm refusing a blessing on the baby. He can just go and fly off into the sunset right now."

"You wouldn't da-"

"Try me."

Mai leaned back into the couch with a smirk on her face. Now she looked like the cat that had just ate the canary and found out there were two more. He frowned.

"Fine, but try to keep the negative commentary down to a minimum. I assure you, I think I've heard all of it from the whispers of the servants," Zuko said.

"Deal, but start back at the first time. When was that exactly? The day after we talked? No, Zuko surely you didn't. Even that day?"

Zuko nodded. "I did."

"I was heading through the palace on my way in. I was trying to think on what you had said. Next thing I know I ran right into him. In a not so nice way either. The loss of balance sent us both crashing to the floor and I landed on top of him. At that point, I saw something. It was just a tiny flash of emotion, but it was certainly something. I kissed him then and-"

"Hold on! Hold on! You mean to tell me, that as soon as you left here, you went over and kissed him without ever even trying to talk to him? Zuko, you are lucky he didn't kill you!" Mai interrupted.

"Actually, he gave me a lesson in air bending kisses, flying, and a warning with a death threat."

Mai sighed, but motioned for him to continue.

"I followed him around the rest of the day and I did try and talk to him, but honestly, I think the walls heard more then he did. The next day, I tried again. Only he decided to torture me. He spent the day training basic forms shirtless. I kept forgetting what I was going to say and stumbling over my words. I swear, I caught at least one smirk in there from him. When he finally went to leave, I decided to keep talking and I put my hand on his shoulder to grab his attention and before I knew he had covered his skin in ice!"

Laughter erupted from Mai. Between laughs she said, "Let me get this straight. He gave you the cold shoulder... Literally?"

Zuko ignored her and went on, "I think you have at least heard of the now famous gossip 'Earth Cage'."

"I know what he did, but I don't know what happened."

"On the third day, I had decided that I would try to keep my distance from him. I figured talking would be better from afar. Which wasn't that problematic as he picked the stables. Lots of free open area. I sat around trying to get him to talk to me, while he ignored me and groomed Appa. I finally gave up and we both sat for a bit in comfortable silence. It was nice. Just being able to look over and see him there again. I thought I was finally getting somewhere. I had started telling him things that had changed. Mostly, I was talking to myself, but this time, it really seemed like he was listening. Everything was going great until I saw the water ball come flying at Aang."

Mai tried to suppress a giggle already guessing what was the outcome was.

"I panicked. I didn't know if it was a surprise attack and so I just yelled, "Look out!" and dived on top of him, knocking him to the ground. I was going to get right back up, but I noticed something like last time. Aang didn't seem to be shoving me off of him. I wasn't stupid enough to go kissing him again at the moment either. Though my mouth still got the better of me as I told him that I really liked him. Before I knew it, I got another flying lesson. This time right to the top of the stable and before gravity even has a chance of working to get me down, Aang shot up the dirt under him and trapped me in the Earth Cage to the ceiling of that place."

The giggle escaped now as a laugh. Mai couldn't hold it in. It was a sound Zuko often wondered why he had only ever heard from her once they began their friendship and ended their relationship. He supposed he had her husband to thank for it. He let himself smile too.

"How did you get down?" Mai asked.

"Remember that water ball I told you about? Turns out it was a stable boy, an exchange from the water tribes, practicing water bendingl He ran in to see where his had gotten away to. I shouted down to the boy. I think he may need therapy now," Zuko admitted.

The smile remained on Mai's face as she said, "No wonder the whole kingdom knows about that. It would have to take several people to get you down. It must have caused a lot of commotion. So that only leave the ice then."

"No, there is one more."

"One more?" She asked.

"Yeah. After all of those past incidents, I figured it would be wise to just take a day away from him. I just wanted to go and steam myself over in the hot spring tubs. I made it into the steamy room stripped my towel off and dropped in. I settled back to get comfortable and finally looked around only to realize there was a pair of wide shocked gray eyes staring at me. I don't know if his or my eyes were bigger once I realized he was there. I didn't have long to think about it, because the next thing I know, the hot water isn't just hot, its started to boil. He tried to cook me like lobster!" Zuko explained.

Mai eyes were wide as she said, "I would have boiled you too."

"I didn't do anything! I stayed across the spring from him!" Zuko stammered.

"Zuko, you just admitted the day before that you like him. He is naked, suddenly, you show up and then you are naked in the same pool of water. He probably saw you get in!"

The redness crept its way across Zuko's cheeks. He hadn't thought about that. If Mai was right he would have seen everything and at the worst possible time. The blush deepened. Zuko raised his hands to brush against his face. This just kept getting worse and worse.

Mai put a comforting hand on Zuko's arm that was now pinching the bridge of his nose. She tried to give a small smile to him to encourage him to continue. It seemed to work as he straightened back into his chair.

Zuko resumed talking, "The next day or yesterday, depending on how you look at it, I was locked into meetings all day. I didn't get a chance to actually speak to him, but I got to see how he dealt with all the politicians that had come to see him. Aang really has changed a lot. He looked just so blank. It felt so heartbreaking. I ended up actually leaving before Aang to bed. I couldn't do it anymore. Watching him so empty like that made me feel too many things."

Concerned covered Mai's face. Her eyes looked sympathetic.

"Today, I knew I had to talk to him. I saw him actually sitting in the garden by the pond. I wanted to tell him how much I felt just watching him like the day before. I wanted to finally just wrap my arms around him and see him smile again. I got a few feet from him and before I knew it, I couldn't move another step as everything from the knees down was frozen in a chunk of ice. He looked at me as he left though. His eyes seemed not lifeless, but actually sad," Zuko finished his voice sounding raw.

If Zuko said Aang was conflicted, Mai trusted Zuko enough to believe it. However, hearing what he was saying and seeing how much it put Zuko through was heartbreaking. Seeing a childhood friend in distress like this was something she had to suffer with, because of Azula, but she had not had to deal with that in years and it was like a fresh cut she didn't know how to recover from.

"I think its time for a challenge. Something he isn't going to see coming his way. He has Bended you up one side and down the other. I think its time to bend back," Mai said.

"You said the people would cower under rocks at the first sign of us fighting and run gossiping to the other countries too."

"This is why you are going to do it official like. By all rights you are his Fire bending teacher. By Avatar record, it should state something about you being able to test him. Making sure his skills are still up to par. Go test away, great Sifu," Mai pointed out.

Zuko turned up his nose, "Don't call me Sifu."

"Why not? Its not some kinky bedroom thing to you is i-" Mai cut herself off at the look on Zuko's face.

"I think I need to go find out about this Right of Challenge. I think I have just the man in mind for the job too," Zuko mused.

He rose from the chair, his foot nearly thawed now. They exchanged goodbyes as he made his way out the door and into the street.

Zuko would claim it was his frozen foot for the rest of his life, but the secret he would take to his grave was that it was actually shock that made him fall down in the street. He had heard that if one speaks to much of a devil it was bound to appear, but he had always expected better of his Uncle. Yet here the man stood.

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Footnote: To those of you that I did not review to before, chances were that I didn't, because I was worried at how long it took me to get back to you. Long reviews are not something I dislike. Any review is a big help and reminder why I write this.


	9. Guess Things Are Changing

**AN: Chapter isn't terribly long, but it just really seemed like the proper place to stop it. **

**Still no Beta, sorry about that. **

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Silver eyes looked down into unseeing green ones. Aang tried not to blink. He knew it was foolish, but he felt like it would be a sign of weakness. One didn't want to show weakness in front of a wild animal.

"I can hear your heart, Twinkle Toes. You also should probably start breathing again," Toph informed.

Aang let out the pent up breath he had unknowingly held in. He took in a deep breath and pushed past Toph. He moved over to his bed and took a seat on the edge.

His eyes traveled to Toph who was now leaning on the door frame. She had grown in many different directions. She was far from a twig, but no one would ever call her plump. She wasn't quite as tall as him. Her hair hung down her back in a traditional Earth Kingdom braid with a cream headband. She wore a deep green kimono with cream jasmine flowers that hung to her knees with slits on each side to her hips. Cream colored pants hung loosely down to her green slip on shoes. Age had matured her. Her baby fat was now muscle. In a word, she seemed sturdy.

"I didn't think you left Earth Kingdom any more," Aang half questioned.

"Well, I didn't think you entered the Fire Nation any more. Guess things are changing," She replied.

"It would seem that way. Well, I have some things-"

"Oh no you don't. You are not getting away that easily. If you don't stay sitting there, I'm going to test out my latest metal prison on you. I can tell you this right now, you wouldn't like it. One way or another, we are going to have ourselves a little chat," Toph informed him.

She had an advantage over him. Aang had attempted for many years to master metal bending, but for all his abilities he had discovered a few disadvantages. There were just some things he had never been able to learn.

"From your lack of movement, I assume that means I'm still the metal bending champion," Toph said with a feral smile.

"Toph, there are meetings and Avatar duties-"

"You can't spare even a little time for an old friend? I think you got your duties confused."

"My duty is to save the world!" Aang half shouted.

"What about your duty to your friends?" Toph asked.

"Who do you think I'm saving the world for?"

"The world doesn't need saving any more, Aang."

"The world always needs saving! I can't just slack off now! I killed someone last time! Zuko nearly died. This time they might succeed. What if they did? What would happen if they killed him? If they killed all of you? What do you think of that?"

"I think that the only one that needs saved right now is you," Toph answered.

"You're right, Toph."

She tilted her head to the side in slight confusion.

"Aang..."

"Toph, I've know for a while now that I haven't been good enough. Too long, I wanted too long to be the care free kid. My emotions and attachments are making me weak. I've got to give it all up, Toph. I have to let it all go. I can't protect the world like this. I've slipped up here. In the last week, I've noticed more of my emotions then I have in years. I have to fix it. You're right, I need saved."

Aang watched frustration ripple across Toph's face. He tried to keep his own a blank mask.

"I can't help you, if that is the kind of help you think you need. I'm not sure there is anyone that can." Toph replied.

The response Aang was about to give was cut off by the gentle knock on the door behind Toph. She pulled it open to reveal a smiling Iroh. Aang was surprised to realize that there seemed to be no real change to the man.

"Hello, young Avatar. You are looking well. It seems you have grown quite a bit since our last meeting," Iroh said with a slight bow.

"Hello, Iroh. You seem well. Age has been kind to you," Aang replied getting to his feet and giving a bow of his own.

"It would seem that my nephew is quite concerned about you," Iroh said.

"It would seem that your nephew's only real concern is with starting a war. If your nephew doesn't keep his hands to himself, the Fire Nation may need to find another Fire Lord," Aang exclaimed.

Toph gaped a moment and turned to Iroh. The older man's face was marred by a frown that cut his face like a scar.

"Careful young Avatar. There are those that might find that a threat. It is of no matter here though, as it seems Zuko wants to challenge you to a Test of Rights."

"What is that?" Toph asked.

"Any master of the Fire Nation may challenge their student at any time they deem it so. It is a way for the master to see if the student is continually learning as they should. It keeps the students in shape," Iroh explained.

"You mean Zuko is going to beat the snot out of Aang?" Toph asked.

"I am thinking that Zuko is the one that shall be beaten in this case," Iroh said.

"What is Zuko thinking?" Aang asked mostly himself.

Toph shook her head before saying, "Aang, you may have gained control of all the elements, but you are not truly proficient at any of them. In all these years, you have not learned to bend metal and I'm guessing you have not learned to throw lightening or blood bend."

Aang frowned. His mind seemed to play the worlds, "You're not good enough" on repeat. There was only one way to prove himself. He would have to fight Zuko and win. There would be one large disadvantage to the battle though. Every attack would have to contain fire. Which meant he couldn't just water bend away Zuko's attacks or just smother the fires by pulling out the air. This battle would mean fighting fire with fire.

"Alright, I accept the challenge," Aang stated.

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Footnote: Please let me know what you think with a review. Thank you kindly.


	10. A Sight He Never Expected To See

**A/N: I had this chapter done yesterday, but I wanted to do a bit of double checking before releasing. **

**Again, not terribly the longest chapter, but it was the perfect spot to stop (once again). I freely admit, **

**the fight took on a life of its own. Only about half of it went as I planned. The rest sort of wrote itself.**

**Once again, no Beta... I probably wont have one for the rest of the story sadly. **

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The sight across the arena was one Zuko never expected to see. Since Aang had arrived, the boy had worn nothing, but various white outfits. Seeing him dressed in the rich colors of the Fire Nation was a bit disorienting. The sleeveless maroon with gold trim shirt fit snugly enough that Zuko could see Aang's chest muscles. It was also short enough that Aang's belly button hung out for a few inches on top and below. The maroon pants he wore hung loosely on his hips and only tightened around the ankles. Aang stood barefoot and in meditation. Zuko made a silent vow to himself that if things went his way, he would have to challenge Aang more often.

Seeing Aang, Zuko didn't feel so bad about his clothes anymore. He wore traditional Agni Kai clothes. Hair in a top knot with no ornament. No shirt, but maroon armbands around each bicep. Loose pants that bunched and held tight at the hips and ankles. His bare feet resting on the cold arena floor. His clothes seemed fitting for the occasion.

Iroh's words returned to him and played over in his thoughts.

"_Formality is a weapon. Aang is taking this very seriously. You need to do so too. You are the master. He is the student who has lost the path. You are not the Fire Lord and he is not the Avatar. You are just Sifu and Pupil. If he goes out there and you are not ready for him, you will be letting this one chance slip through your hands. Are you sure you want to do this?"_

Zuko thought to himself the answer he couldn't seem to give his uncle then.

"_I have to try. I need to break that shell before it gets any thicker. I can't just sit around any longer. I have to actually do something."_

Toph had already warned him that Aang had meditated the afternoon away and fasted through dinner. He had tried to come up with some sort of strategy or tried to think of what to say, but his thoughts had been too scattered. He would have to let things be spur of the moment. Which was fine for Zuko, because that was how he liked to do things.

He gave one more look at the empty arena. The only spectators would be Toph and Iroh, who both sat a safe distance away on a stone bench. They didn't want anyone else in the arena for fear that it might start a panic. They had even discussed leaving the palace, but a battle on their scale was sure to attract unwanted visitors. The palace might get damage over this, but with its empty arena, it was the best place.

Zuko caught Aang's eyes. He forced himself to keep staring at the blankness that met him. He bowed to Aang and received one in return. He went into stance and moved closer. The fight was on.

Puffs of fire and various fire balls began to fly in all directions as they circled about one another, moving closer and simply testing each other out with the basics. It was like their training had been and it sent a pang of emotion to his heart. He set his face with the new determination that filled him.

The closer they drew the more intense their motions grew. Zuko saw his chance and knew he had to make his move. Aang shot out a fire ball with his right hand, but Zuko was already two steps ahead of him. He dodged and his right hand shot from shoulder to shoulder where it left a line of fire, but instead of shooting it, Zuko took hold of the end where he visualized an invisible handle. Aang pulled back his arm just in time to avoid losing it to Zuko's fire blade. Zuko made a few quick slices at Aang, but was stopped by a flying fire disk that Aang shot at him. Zuko let go of the invisible handle in his mind and the fire sizzled out.

He could feel himself sweating. The technique was far from perfect and had been one that had taken years of practice. It required a lot of energy to hold it for long.

Aang kicked out with his left foot, taking Zuko by surprise. After the fire sword, Aang had moved to a safe enough distance away that a kick attack would do little more then send hot air at Zuko. He took a moment to get into stance as he watch the boy waiting to see what his attack would be. The ground beneath Aang shook and broke apart. Before Zuko could say anything, a large piece flew up towards him. Zuko dodged out of the way and watched as it hit empty arena seats behind him. It hit and splattered sending pieces of magma flowing out of it. Zuko closed his mouth, not realizing when it had dropped. Zuko turned back to Aang just in time to avoid another flying rock. When the third one came his direction though, he would be ready.

Intense concentration masked Aang's face. Another kick with his foot sent a rock flying toward Zuko. Zuko stood his ground. He brought his hand around in a circle forming a circle of fire. He grabbed onto it much like the sword, but instead of the swords solidness, it flipped about like a cat's tail. Zuko pulled the whip about and wrapped it firmly around the lava bomb that was flying his way. It super heated it and the magma bomb exploded mid air. Zuko let go of the whip and formed a small shield of fire to block the flying pieces that came his way.

It was only a split second, but Aang recovered faster and it was all he needed. Zuko watched as Aang twisted and kicked and twirled swinging his arms about. Zuko backed away. He wasn't quite sure what Aang was doing, but he had enough fire going that it was going to be big. The pillar began to form and Zuko's eyes widened. It moved his direction. He barely registered seeing Aang motioning and directing it. The fire tornado swirled about making its path towards Zuko. He spread his legs and brought both hands from his left foot up and then from his right foot up. A wall of fire shot up and boxed the tornado in. Zuko leaped forward and raised his fist at the box willing it to burn hotter. The flames fizzled and disappeared leaving not even a trace of smoke.

Again, Zuko faced another sight he never expected to see. Aang stood opposite the arena, his face a blank mask. His arms making circles around him. His legs spread and his arms circled again. Zuko could hear the crackle even where he stood. The air smelled of ozone. Zuko didn't want to believe his eyes, but he readied his stance any ways. He fell a step back as the lightening struck at him. He felt it flow into his body and fought back the urge to scream. He shot out his arm and released it to the empty arena seats. It struck and exploded leaving a crater. He turned to find Aang, but the boy wasn't there any more.

Zuko turned his eyes about, looking for the boy and barely caught the movement off to his side. He turned just in time to see the arena door slip closed. Zuko collapsed on the arena floor. The voice of his uncle and Toph called out to him, but the surrounding darkness called louder. Darkness swallowed him.

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Footnote: Well, I hope that wasn't terribly confusing. I'm still rather new to the whole bending fight scene. Review to me your thoughts.


	11. He Isn't Getting Very Far

**A/N: Finally, a longer chapter. It's twice as long as my shorter ones. Thank you for having patience with me. Lastly, forgive devious Toph, she means well. **

**Again, lacking Beta. Errors abound. **

* * *

"Does that count as a win or loss," Zuko could hear Toph asking from a distance.

"It is a draw," Iroh responded.

Zuko let the events before passing out wash over him. Holding onto the lightening the for the length of time he had put a lot of strain on his body. Mixed with the emotional shock, his system had just crashed. The lack of any real training didn't help. He felt sore all over. He had the urge to jump up and chase after Aang, but his body didn't want to move. Even the cold arena floor felt tempting enough to just close his eyes again. Zuko knew there were many complications with doing that though. He fought against his protesting body and sat up. Toph and his uncle hurried over to him.

"You okay, Hot Pants?" Toph asked.

"Aang, he's getting away." Zuko managed to say.

"Well, he isn't getting very far," Toph chuckled.

Zuko knew that laugh well enough. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"What did you do?"

"I laced some sugar cubes with sleeping pills. Appa will probably sleep the next three days."

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose before saying, "Let's pretend that I'm not the Fire Lord and shouldn't arrest you on behalf of Aang for that. He can always leave on his glider and simply request Appa later via message."

"Yeah, I guessed that already. That's why I gave it to your mom to hang on to. Even if he does suspect she has it, there is no way she is turning it over.

And before you even ask, he isn't going to just walk out the front doors either. I talked to Mai's husband while he was with some of his friends. I told them about how noble Aang was to come and bless their captain's baby. Every off duty guard is going to try and take Aang out for drink to show their great appreciation for what he has done. He'll be so shit faced by the time they let him leave he wont be able to walk straight.

While I was there, I also gave Momo to Mai. I told her he would perfect baby practice. That is going to be one terribly spoiled monkey."

Zuko let out the laugh. There was no way Aang would ask for Momo back from Mai. That would mean admitting that he was leaving before blessing the baby. Not to mention the guards. Every one that talked to him would inflate his ego over how noble he was for the blessing the baby, he would either build it up as some great duty that he had to stick around and do or his guilt at trying to run before doing something everyone wanted would make him stick around.

"Toph, you're a genius," Zuko said.

Iroh laughed and said, "You would inflate her ego before she is even done."

Zuko looked over at Toph. Her Cheshire grin was spreading.

"I convinced your mom that during the match she should sneak into Aang's room and steal all his clothes." Toph laughed before finishing, "She took it a step farther and replaced them all with your old clothes!"

Toph and Iroh laughed. Zuko smiled at them, happy to have allies. He would hate to be working against them. He thought of how Aang must have felt when he notice all his clothes were missing and the look he must have had on his face. Zuko joined in with their laugh.

His ribs hurt from the laughter. He tried to stand and found his uncle's out stretched hand. He took it and got to his feet. He gave himself a light dusting off.

"I wanted to move you to your room, but some one insisted that we should leave you here. Something about the staff making a spectacle of their passed out Fire Lord," Toph said.

"Uncle is right. If you guys had brought me out there like that, it would have caused panic. It would be no better than if Aang and I had fought in the middle of a crowded market place. That is why we did this at night. The staff is light and the guards have all been ordered to keep out while I "practice". Even if you had said something about a training accident, there would have been ill words spread around," Zuko explained.

"Being in the spot light must really suck. You always have to figure out what others would think. I don't envy you," Toph said.

Zuko smiled and said, "It has its perks. It's not all bad. I wouldn't trade it for the anything."

His smile slipped and he frowned his voice wavered as he said, "Maybe not anything."

Toph slapped him on the back saying, "Cheer up, Hot Pants. We'll get him sorted out."

Iroh frowned as if in deep thought. Zuko let him be. He had thoughts of his own to worry about. He led the way to his room. Their guest rooms would be down the hall, but Zuko knew they would stick around to talk more.

Once they were in the room, Zuko told them not to close the door and led Toph over to a rope and had her pull it. A maid arrived shortly after wards. Toph gave the order for tea. Zuko followed that order by telling the maid that they were not to be disturbed and that any staff that saw the Avatar should warmly greet him and offer him assistance back to his room. Toph got another chuckle out of that.

Zuko made his way over to his bed and took a seat as Toph expressed her desire to have perks like that. He smiled indulgently at her even though she couldn't see it. He had always felt like her blind eyes could read him better then some that could see him. Toph took up a seat near Zuko's bed. Tea arrived shortly.

"What exactly is going on with you and Aang anyway? Mai told me some of it. It's really no wonder that Aang isn't shacking up in some igloo making snow babies when he wants to get all steamy with you, Hot Pants."

After clearing his throat and giving an uncomfortable look to his uncle, Zuko said, "That's not it. More like, I'm the one not settling. I have no clue how Aang truly feels. Or if he even feels for that matter."

Zuko gave a brief run through of the last five days and felt his face grow warm at various parts. He tried not to keep glancing at his uncle. After telling Mai, it felt easier to tell a second time around, but it made it worse having his uncle in the room.

"So you see, I really don't know how he feels. This all started so suddenly."

"I am thinking that this isn't as sudden as you have said and that there is something else you are not telling," Iroh said with a knowing smile.

Confused golden eyes rested on Iroh and then widened with realization.

"How did you know about that?" Zuko asked a bit louder then he expected.

Iroh laughed before saying, "You should pick a better place than one where your sick mother's room over looks. Especially on a night when you know she is going to be in."

"What's all this? Don't leave me hanging!" Toph exclaimed.

"The last time Aang came was during Avatar day. I had stepped out to get some fresh air."

"That's when Sokka spiked the drinks with the cactus juice right?" Toph asked.

"That would be correct," Iroh answered.

Zuko began again, "I was warm after a few drinks and stepped out for some fresh air. I went into the garden and Aang showed up. He was lost as usual. I don't really remember our conversation from the time or how it happened. I only know that at one moment we are standing there talking and the next..."

"Your getting hot and heavy in the garden," Toph supplied.

Zuko felt his face flush a bit as he nodded. He gave a short look over to his uncle.

"You can not just stop feelings toward some one that you have spent years obsessing over," Iroh stated.

He had to give the man credit. His uncle was taking things far better then he was. Zuko had to admit that his uncle must have guessed that this day was coming ever since his mother told him.

"Wait, he was still seeing Katara at that point. I think I remember her leaving to go find him," Toph thought aloud.

"That would also be the same night I learned I could jump the garden wall. I heard her calling him and it took my brain all of five seconds before I realized I should probably go. Before I knew it I was back walking around to the front of the Palace," Zuko explained.

"You have your mother to thank for that too," Iroh added.

"What?"

"Your mother said that when she saw the events begin to unfold in the garden she figured it would be wise to make sure you were not bothered. She met Katara in the hall and told her that calling out to Aang would probably help her to find him faster. She also talked with her a few moments longer about my latest delivery of tea."

Zuko sat in shock for a moment. His mother had saved him from a ton of embarrassment and trouble. The last thing he needed was an angry water bender after him. He would have to thank her later.

"Your mom really saved your bacon," Toph added.

Zuko shook his head. It was nice to sit around and talk about things. It felt good to know he had someone other than Mai to talk about this with, but this wasn't the time for it. He had gotten too swept away. He needed to bring the conversation back to matters at hand.

"The match-" Zuko began.

"It was a draw," Iroh interrupted.

"I collapsed," Zuko said with a touch of shame.

"He doesn't know that," Iroh pointed out.

"Yeah, Aang pulled out the lightening and ran for the door. He didn't stick around to find out the results. You stood till he fully left. I'd say that you technically won," Toph said.

"Aang left, so you won. If he had stayed, you wouldn't have been able to attack again. You would have lost. Therefore, draw," Iroh explained.

Facts didn't really matter to Zuko. He felt like it had been an all around loss. Having Aang bend lightening made Zuko feel like his stomach had dropped out. He had discovered years ago that lightening wasn't something he could learn. It took removing ones emotions and replacing it with a calmness that Zuko lacked. His heart felt heavy.

Iroh frowned and said, "There is still hope. If he had fully removed his emotions, he would not have fled. He has just learned to mask himself as well as Azula. I think he must be feeling as desperate as her right now too."

Toph chimed in, "She was good enough to lie to my feet. I suspect Aang probably could too at this point. I was reading nothing from him earlier."

"That makes it worse. That means he is at a point where he is believing his own lies," Zuko said.

"I'm sure you will feel better after some sleep. Its late already," Iroh said.

Toph climbed out of the chair and made her way to the door. She gave a small wave before slipping out of it. Iroh followed her out. Zuko threw himself back on the bed. It was bound to be a long night.

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Footnote: I've been updating rather frequently. Sorry about the sudden spam of chapters. Which brings me to a major point: Would you readers prefer if I kept the chapters and released them once a week or if I just released them as they were finished being edited? Message or review a response please.


	12. Just A Little Longer

**A/N: To those of you that have been concerned with the Zuko and Aang interaction. Here is what you all have been waiting for. I hate to say it, but most of the last chapters were needed to set this whole thing up. I set them up the way I did, because I was actually afraid if I showed Aang acting cruel to Zuko chapter after chapter, you guys would totally demand that Zuko find better and believe Aang was just some evil person. He's not evil, just a bit messed up in the head.**

**Be warned, things start to actually happen from here on out. **

**I wonder if I'll ever get another Beta for this story.**

* * *

The night air felt warm against his skin. Zuko was glad that he hadn't changed. He had only pulled down his top knot. He now regretted having done so as his hair began to cling to the back of his neck.

It was late enough that Zuko wondered if anyone besides the staff were awake. Even the turtle ducks slept in the pond with their beaks tucked safely in their shells. He moved closer to the pond. There was always the hope that watching them peacefully slumber might lull his restless nerves. He stood next to the tree that overlooked the pond and placed his hand against it.

A slight rustling noise over head caught his attention. He looked up expecting to see a stray cat. What he found was a falling Avatar that landed right on him. The unexpected weight sent them crashing to the ground with Aang landing safely on top of him. The over load of potential ideas caused Zuko to clam up and wait for Aang to make the next move.

Troubled silver eyes gazed into gold ones. Turbulent emotions whirled in them. Zuko sat very still almost afraid to breath. Aang crawled down him. Zuko thought at first that the boy was getting up awkwardly, but when he felt weight shift onto his legs, he realized that was not the case. He moved to try and sit up, but was quickly stopped by a cold hand that came to rest on his bare chest. It caressed against his chest and Zuko fought not to lose himself in that touch.

A small trembling laugh came from the boy on his knees.

"I didn't. I didn't," The almost broken whisper from Aang came.

Zuko realized at that point that Aang's hand touched against the scar on his chest. Zuko reached out and grabbed Aang's wrist. The smaller boy froze, but Zuko continued on. He laid Aang's hand flat against his scar.

"You didn't do this. This is the work of a monster. Something your not," Zuko told him softly.

He released Aang's wrist, but the boy made no indication that he planned on moving his hand. Zuko pulled himself up to sitting position. Zuko knew he was making a bold decision in what he was about to do next. He pulled his legs apart and Aang fell the tiny distance to the ground. Zuko reached out his hands and put each of his on each of Aang's hips. He turned the boy around easily enough. Zuko reached a hand under the tight shirt that Aang still wore from their earlier match. His finger rested against the scar on Aang's back. Aang stiffened, but didn't move. Zuko traced over it thoughtlessly.

"You have the same mark as me, from that same monster. You are not like her. You are so much better then that, Aang."

Aang's shoulders sagged and began to tremble. Zuko moved his hand off the boys scar and wrapped his arms around Aang. He dragged the boy closer. He could feel the light shivers that shook the boy. Zuko left his arms wrapped around Aang. He felt more then saw Aang's arms reach up and cover his. Zuko tensed, but softened when after a moment he didn't end up either on fire or an ice cube.

"I could have... You could have been... What if you had..." Aang tried.

Zuko let him struggle. He knew what Aang was trying to say, but knew that Aang needed to actually say it. He needed to feel the weight of the word. Know the consequences that word held.

"Zuko, I thought I killed you. I thought for sure that you might be dead. I was so afraid. I felt... I felt so much fear. When I attacked you though, it was like there was nothing. I just felt so empty. I saw you there and it was like training again. Like so many of our old times together. I missed you so bad. I just had to lock it all away. The Avatar can not feel. I got so used to just locking up my emotions. I had to! I just attacked and didn't think. What if you had died? I've been fighting so hard to save you and you nearly died by my own hands!"

Small droplets splashed onto Zuko's arm. They landed and rolled off, catching the places where Aang's arms were not covering. The trembling boy seemed to shake worse then ever. Zuko pulled his arm's away. He moved back slightly and grabbed a hold of Aang's shirt on either side. He began raising it and had to tug it up a couple time before Aang finally lifted his arm for Zuko to pull it off and dropped it into the grass beside them. Once Aang's shirt was removed, he pulled Aang's back flush against his chest. He moved his mouth to Aang's left ear.

"Do you feel that? It's my heart beating. I'm not dead. I'm right here," Zuko whispered.

Aang gave a small shudder and softened against Zuko. He noticed that Aang's skin felt cool.

"How long have you been out here?" Zuko asked.

"Ever since... everything. I thought about running. I wanted to, but I got lost. I couldn't find the doors, only the garden. I stayed here, because I thought that if you were alright that you would come here. You always come here. It was getting so late. I thought for sure you wouldn't come, because I had... Zuko, I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry," Aang said with half sobs towards the end.

"It's okay. I'm here," Zuko said burying his face in the crook of Aang's neck.

Zuko nuzzled his face against Aang's neck and whispered soft reassurances. Aang was finally hitting his breaking point. Zuko knew there would still be a lot more complications after this, but here was the start. He wished that they could have worked at this by chipping away the problems instead of just smashing against them with a sledgehammer, but Aang might be alright after everything. Those words were hope to Zuko like a light in the dark night.

After a while, Aang seemed to calm down and his trembling stopped. He rested against Zuko still as he breathed out heaving sobs trying to get his emotions back under control. Aang moved his right hand from Zuko's arm down to rest on his leg. The weight of that hand brought a very sudden realization to Zuko's mind.

All this time, he had been doing his best to keep in mind that he was comforting a friend. That he was helping someone who was distressed. The thought that he held in his arms the very person he had longed for was quickly catching up now that ultimate distress seemed to have left Aang. His heart raced and he could feel Aang's speeding up to catch it. Zuko knew at this point that he should untangle himself from Aang and get back to his room if he didn't want to get turned into an ice cube. Aang's sudden stiffening told Zuko that Aang's mind was catching up in the same place his was.

"Zuko..." Aang called out quietly.

"Just a little longer. Please," Zuko said, not realizing he had spoken his thoughts.

After a small clearing of his throat, Zuko said, "Listen Aang, I know... I know that you have been through a lot, bu-but I really care for you. I want to help you through this. I want to help you. You don't have to love me back. Just, just know how I feel."

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" A voice called out.

Aang and Zuko both froze. Zuko swore to himself. Of all the times to forget something he was just told earlier. Zuko cursed the blush that crossed his face.

"I think he was just heading that way, Lady Ursa," Aang said.

"See that he does. I don't think he has been sleeping properly. Good night, Avatar," Ursa said closing her window.

Zuko unwrapped his arms and covered his face with his palms. Aang scooted forward, grabbed his shirt and stood. He began walking towards one of the garden entrances.

"Aang, your room. It's the other way," Zuko said.

"Right. Can never find my way around here," Aang sighed.

"Maybe you just need someone to show you the way," Zuko suggested.

"You might be right."

Zuko could hardly believe his ears. He stood up and walked over to the entrance that would take them to their rooms the fastest. Aang walked over to him. Zuko took a moment to admire him under the moon light. The gentle ripple of his chest muscles as his arms swayed. The loose way his pants hung on his hips. The way his bare feet seemed to glide over the grass. His silver eyes catching the moonlight. Zuko felt like a condemned man. If Aang could read thoughts he felt sure he would have been turned into an ice sculpture.

He held the door open for Aang. The devious look made Zuko wonder if Aang really had read his thoughts. When Aang stepped into the hall light, Zuko notice the light blush that seemed to cover the boy's face.

They walked together down the halls. Zuko leading them. He cast a small look over to Aang and noticed that the boy was still blushing, but seemed to be lost in thought.

"Aang," Zuko said.

"Can I be honest with you, Zuko?" Aang asked.

"I really wish you would be," Zuko answered.

"I told you that I've been locking everything up. That I've tried hard not to feel. Its true that little things here or there have caught me off guard, but tonight, I've felt so many things. I have so many thoughts and emotions. I feel... I feel."

Zuko could see that Aang was quickly being overwhelmed by the various emotions that were catching up to him.

"I'm scared and worried. I keep trying to lock that away. I just want to to hide all these emotions. There are so many of them. If I do though, what happens next time? Maybe next time you wont be able to deflect it. Then I'm worse then the bad guys, because you wont have an Avatar to save you."

"Aang, your emotions are needed. They help you to make choices. Even as Fire Lord, I have to use my own feelings to help me decide what is right. I am nowhere near as good as Uncle at giving advice, but whatever it is, we can figure it out together. I will be here to help you always. I wont give up on you. We just need to take these things one step at a time," Zuko responded.

Aang gave a small smile, but his blush seemed to deepen. His brows furrowed. Zuko led them down one last hall where they stood in front of their rooms. They stood there in silence as Aang seemed to find particular interest in his feet.

"What is it, Aang?" Zuko finally asked.

"I don't know how I feel about you. You've been my enemy. You are my best friend. Now, you talk about being something more, but I don't know how I feel. I trusted you and believed in you before everyone. I want to believe in you now. I want to find out how I feel," Aang replied.

* * *

Footnote: Am I cruel for ending it there? Probably, but some people seem to suffer from selective reading and when I warned that things were about to happen, that meant slashy bits. So if your not it for those Slashy bits, this is the last chapter for you, thanks for reading up to this part. If you don't happen to mind that, please head over to the next chapter. Don't forget to review!


	13. You're My Best Friend

**A/N: I feel like I deserve some serious cookies. Aang is far too logical, but given his current mind frame, that is how I expect he would be. **

**Naturally, expect errors. I miss you Beta.**

* * *

Aang's words seem to echo through Zuko's mind. It took him a moment to fully analyze them before he gathered what Aang was really saying.

"Would you like to go on some sort of date then to help you decide?" Zuko asked.

Aang shook his head and said, "No, I think if it was us going out somewhere, even if you put on a romantic atmosphere, I would just see it as us hanging out. I know I'm pretty comfortable with you, so I don't think that would help at all."

"What do you feel for me?" Zuko asked.

"You want me to tell you?" Aang asked in return.

"If it will help, I want to hear," Zuko answered, leaving out that he wanted to know anyways.

"I already said I'm comfortable with you. You are great to talk to and hang out with. You make meetings not so boring. Like I said, you are my best friend. We have saved each other a ton of times. I learned tonight how much it hurts to think of you being injured. I've always known I wanted to save my friends though. Most of all that is true for all my friends," Aang explained.

"So you feel exactly the same for me like you feel for the rest of our friends?"

"Well no. You're my best friend," Aang replied.

"What sets me apart from the others? Shouldn't Katara have been your best friend?"

"I used to think Katara was special. She was cute and nice. She always seemed to take care of me. When you started teaching me fire bending though, she turned really hateful. She was someone else. I started to think that maybe I didn't know her at all. I stayed with her thinking that maybe I would see her as that person that was fun to play with again, but I stopped playing and started saving the world. She just grew more and more into some one I didn't know each day," Aang said with his face pensive.

Aang looked at Zuko as if he was some sort of puzzle he could figure out. It turned to one of surprise and then back into concentration.

"For what sets you apart is that you were different. You gave up your entire nation. It wasn't until later we learned Toph had run away from home, but you didn't just leave home, you left your whole nation to help us. To help me. When I was afraid of fire, you believed in me. You believed in me for more then that, you just believed. You chased me all over the world, but when we stood in the temple you stood as my friend. That is when I realized you were my best friend."

Zuko gave Aang a smile. It felt good to at least be recognized, but he felt like his stomach was dropping out.

"You know Zuko, I think I've been putting you first before all my other friends for a while now," Aang said.

"You have?" Zuko asked, feeling shocked.

"Yeah. Iroh left for the Jasmine Dragon and Toph picked to hang around and help him out instead of going home. Sokka and Suki ran off to Kyoshi Island. You took over being Fire Lord. Katara chose to travel with me. Despite them spread out every where, I spent almost all my time in the Fire Nation if I could help it. Katara used to constantly go on and on about going back to the water tribes. I offered to drop her off, but she didn't want that and I didn't want to leave the Fire Nation. Even after everything with the Air Temples beginning to get back under way, I kept coming back here. I really felt like this place was home. Being able to hang out together was worth all those boring meetings."

"You put coming to see me and sitting through those awful talks, before Katara?" Zuko asked.

"Yeah, your my best friend. If I was away for too long, I always felt lonely and sad. Even when I was visiting with Sokka or Toph."

Zuko couldn't stop the sudden feeling of happiness.

"Aang, I think that is a little more then just being your best friend."

"Are you sure? I mean I hate to see you upset, so I don't want to make you think its something its not," Aang said sounding skeptical.

"How about we try looking at this differently?" Zuko suggested.

"What do you have in mind?"

Zuko attempted to not blush at the thoughts that came to mind, but his body refused to listen.

"What do you think of my physically?" Zuko asked.

Zuko's blush contagiously spread to Aang.

"I think that you're an attractive person. You are strong and muscular. You were even all those years ago. You're scars seem to give you more character rather then disfigure. You have expressive golden amber eyes that always seem to show what you are thinking. A smile that seems to melt the heart and …. and why are you looking at me like that?"

The blush on Zuko's face had remained, but his grin had widened.

"One last question," Zuko said.

"You know, this is hardly fair. I've answered all of these and you have not answered any of them," Aang halfheartedly complained.

"I promise to answer anything you have to ask after you answer this next question."

"Ask away."

"What did you think when I kissed you?"

Aang seemed suddenly interested in his feet again.

"I don't know," He mumbled.

"What if I did it again?"

After a time Aang mumbled out again, "I don't know."

Zuko moved closer to Aang in the hall. He took slow steady steps. He watched carefully for any signs that Aang might change his mind.

"Aang."

The boy turned his face to look up at Zuko. Golden eyes danced with something Aang didn't know. Aang felt he breath catch and thought he wanted to find out.

The kiss was soft as two pairs of lips met. Zuko wanted so much more. He could feel his need for more welling up inside of him, but he kept telling himself that this wasn't for him, but for Aang. He pulled himself away and forced the kiss to stay chaste.

"That wasn't like your last kisses at all," Aang said. He seemed to almost pout and said, "Kiss me lik-"

Zuko was on him before he could even finish his sentence. He pulled Aang closer as he pressed their lips together firmly. The shock was enough that Aang tried to gasp and Zuko used it to his advantage. He plunged his tongue into the boy's mouth. He caressed the tongue with his own and felt Aang awaken to his kiss. The movements were slow and shy at first, but Zuko coaxed him. He teased him and nibbled on his bottom lip. He kissed him again harder and pulled Aang against him. The small moans and pants with the racing heart beat against him.

He fought against his own desire to keep going. Zuko had to tear himself away. He looked down in to glazed silver eyes. They shone like liquid pools with desire. That at least answered some of the questions. His golden eyes fell on those kiss swollen lips and wanted to capture them again. He grabbed Aang's hand and shoved open his door and pulled Aang through it before closing it again. They didn't need another interruption like in the garden.

Zuko turned back to Aang to ask if he was okay with this, but found Aang moving to kiss him. He let Aang lead. Zuko wrapped his arms around Aang and pulled him close. His hands glided up Aang's back till they reached his scar and caressed it. Aang gave a soft whimper and a quick nibble of Zuko's bottom lip. Zuko pulled away and nuzzled into Aang's neck. He laid kisses and small bites as he worked his way up to Aang's ear. He laid a soft kiss just under it and then pulled the lobe into his mouth. He sucked on it a moment before biting gently, but it was enough to get Aang keening against him.

"Ah, Zu ko, ahhh, I want... I want... I don't know what I want. Ah, but I want it," Aang gasped.

With careful movements, Zuko shuffled them toward the bed.

"Have you not... I mean surely with Katara right?"

Aang shook his head and said, "No, Katara and I traveled together, but to me, we were more like strangers. She always wanted things, like this I suppose, but all we ever did was more like that kiss in the hall. Nothing like this."

Zuko sat down on the edge of the bed trying to clear the webs of desire from his thoughts so he could explain to Aang properly, but Aang had other ideas. The boy straddled Zuko's lap pushing him back against the bed and tried to mimic Zuko's earlier ear attack.

"Aang, remember how you said you wanted to believe in me. I'm going to need you to trust me through this, it's-" Zuko began, but his thoughts flew out as soon as Aang began sucking on his ear lobe.

As Aang lightly nibbled at his ear, Zuko put his hands on Aang's hips and guided him down to rest against him. When hardness met hardness, Zuko bucked his hips unthinkingly. Aang moaned and panted and repeated Zuko's action.

Zuko knew the situation was spiraling out of control. He was far too excited and with it being Aang's first for … well, anything there was no way things were going to last. He needed to take some control over the situation, but Aang seemed to be highly enjoying what they were doing currently. Zuko once again reminded himself that this was for Aang and not himself.

When Aang bucked his hips once more, Zuko used it as an opportunity to slide his hands down the back of Aang's pants. He cupped Aang's butt and gave gentle squeezes. He used it to help guide Aang against him. In no time they gained a quick rhythm, but Aang's excitement made him quickly erratic.

He knew he was going to regret having to get his pants cleaned later, but as Aang ground into him he knew he could never regret the way Aang shuddered against him or the moaning noise Aang let out as he reached completion. The added heat with Aang's appearance caused Zuko to lose himself. He pulled Aang to him tightly as the boy let out yet another moan and wild thrust this time mixed with Zuko's as he too found completion.

It took Zuko a few moments of laying with a barely conscious Aang on him before he finally realized that they should probably move.

"Aang, come on. We're a mess. We can't stay like this," Zuko said through a parched throat.

"But Zuko, your comfortable," Aang mumbled.

"If you really want to stay like this, I'm willing to. I'll do anything for you within my power, but you know that was only the start of things," Zuko said.

That seemed to grab Aang attention. He raised himself up to look at Zuko.

"There is more?" Aang asked.

"Lots more, but I'm not showing you a thing till you get cleaned up."

Aang was off of him and making his way quickly to the bathroom. Zuko smiled at the retreating back side.

He turned around at the door, "I'll get cleaned up, but you have to show me everything. Deal?"

Zuko gave a lusty smile and said, "Deal."

* * *

Footnote: I wont lie, you would have gotten more steaminess, but I'm so overly paranoid about losing my account. Believe it or not, I checked my stats, this story has gotten over a thousand views during last month. Where are my reviews? ;_;


	14. It All Seems So Funny

**A/N: Thank you very very much to everyone that came out to review those last chapters. You are all so sweet. **

**I had a few offers for Betas and I have to say that is kindness beyond words guys. However, I think I'm just going to wing it for the rest of the story. You guys are going to be stuck with my 'your' 'you're' and 'then' 'than' mistakes. **

* * *

The night had been a long one, filled with intense passion. Aang's reawakening emotions mixed with his never ending curiosity had Zuko busy till well after the sun rise. Aang wanted to learn everything and Zuko was only too happy to teach him.

Zuko stared at the sleeping boy in his bed. His hands itched to touch him, but he didn't for fear of waking him. The light in his room told him that the afternoon was setting in. If Aang didn't wake soon, it was likely that he wouldn't sleep well that evening. Zuko knew he needed to wake him. He braced himself though. Aang had been a willing participant last night, but the morning light always had a funny way of illuminating things.

The last time they had kissed, Aang had avoided the Fire Nation for over a year. If Aang chose to run from him this time, Zuko feared he may never see Aang again. Though, since Toph had taken all of his things, he still wasn't going to get very far at this point.

Zuko laughed without thinking. Hazy silver eyes slipped opened. They stared at him through a blur of minor confusion until a smile crossed his face. Zuko smiled back feeling his spirits lift.

"You didn't go back to your room at all last night, did you?" Zuko asked.

"And just was is so funny about that, Sifu?" Aang questioned back.

"Don't call me that and you will have to ask Toph," Zuko answered.

"Mmm, but you are a great teacher," Aang replied.

"You guys are just trying to give me a complex about that word. How are you feeling?"

Aang moved to sit up and Zuko thought for a moment that the boy might throw up. Zuko helped to gather the pillows on the bed and propped Aang into a sitting position with them.

"I seem to be sore," Aang said.

"After last night, that is to be expected. You will get better about that with time and practice."

Zuko climbed out of bed and made his way to his closet. He pretended that he didn't feel eyes watching his every movement. Those eyes made him feel like his choice was taking unnaturally long. He grabbed some light under garments and moved to his chair and to grab the Fire Lord robes that rested on them. He didn't even make it to the chair though, when the door burst open.

"Good afternoon, Hot Pants! You planning to sleep the day away?" Toph asked enthusiastically.

"Toph, would you mind stepping out for a moment?" Zuko said, his voice higher then usual.

In the hall, a passing maid carrying a platter of food that Zuko presumed was meant for the Avatar that didn't show at breakfast or lunch turned at just the wrong moment. The platter went crashing to the floor in a clatter of broken dishes.

"What? What's wrong?" Toph asked.

"Hot Pants, isn't wearing any," Aang explained.

"I know I can't see, but those are the things that a girl has a right to know! You should have said something-"

"Toph, you're still in the room," Aang interrupted.

"Aaaagh!" Toph exclaimed as she scrambled out the door closing it behind her.

Zuko quickly dressed while Aang chuckled from the bed.

"Hush," Zuko said to Aang, but the boy only laughed harder.

Toph opened the door a crack.

"Okay, why is Aang in your bed? Why is he laughing in your bed? Why are you pants less while he is laughing in your bed?"

Aang's laughter doubled. Zuko felt like his heart was melting. The light blush told him that he should be embarrassed, but he felt too happy. He had expected Aang to be a regretful person this morning, but found only a playful person. Where he had expected looks of resentment, he found smiles. He felt better then he had in ages and more then anything, he delighted in hearing that laugh. He hadn't realized how much he had missed it. It was a dream come true that he didn't even know he wished for.

"When you go so long without smiling, laughing makes your face face hurt," Aang said between laughs.

"You can come in, Toph," Zuko said.

Toph walked in and took the seat she had the night before, next to Zuko's bed.

"Can I get some answers here?"

"After you left, I went out to the garden for some air and Aang happened to drop in."

Another howl of laughter sounded from Aang.

"I'm sorry. Sorry. Its just that... It all seems so funny today," Aang said through fits of giggles.

"Zuko after you collapsed, you should have gotten some rest. You shouldn't have been out in the garden or doing other... things," Toph admonished.

"Zuko's fine. He's healthy as can be. Here he is, the strapping Fire Lord, ready to take on the day. Well, what's left of it anyway," Aang retorted.

"Aang, you can't possibly know what damage-" Toph began only to be cut off.

"He is fine. Nothing happened to him. Nothing is going to happen to him. He will be ruling the Fire Nation till he has more gray hair then Iroh," Aang said with finality in his voice.

Aang began to pull the covers around himself. With careful movements, he got it wrapped around himself and moved to the edge of the bed.

"So what, you guy are now together?" Toph asked.

"No. Zuko is still my best friend. He just happens to be my sifu in more ways then one now," Aang said.

Zuko felt his blood freeze. It was like having the rug pulled out from under you. It came totally unexpectedly. With Aang's lack of running, Zuko had thought Aang had accepted his feelings and had realized his own in the process. Zuko wasn't sure if he could handle going back to simply being friends at this point.

Aang caught him in the ribs with his elbow as he passed and said, "Cheer up, Sifu. You still have lots to teach me."

In a moment that felt like forever, Zuko watched as Aang left his room, still wrapped in the blanket. He crossed the hall and was gone beyond a closed door. Zuko felt Toph's hand come to rest lightly on his arm. Concern written all over her face.

"Aang obviously wants you. He seems worried about you too. You haven't been rejected. I just don't think he knows yet. I think his feeling might not have grown up with him. Like locking them away for so many years while he grew, they didn't. You know what that means right?"

"Yeah, it means I have to reject him," Zuko said.

From across the hall they heard the angry shout of, "TOOOOPPPPPHHH!"

Toph winced and Zuko gave a light smile as he said, "You might want to run."

* * *

Footnote: Not terribly long, but I was ready for another short time skip. However, I wanted you to all see the Morning After results.

For those of you who said they expected Regret... I wont lie, me too, but oddly, it seems the one who is feeling it is Zuko.


	15. He Is My Best Friend Too

**A/N: Please refrain from killing Toph, Aang or myself in this chapter. I assure you, we need all three for the next one. **

* * *

He knew the first time that he was doomed. Aang had ambushed him in the hall after dinner. The thought that Toph had just earlier told him all the ramifications of what would happen if he didn't reject Aang kept getting shoved out of mind as he watch Aang stand there and talk to him in his old clothes. He felt like he had been swept away by a whirlwind as Aang suddenly plastered himself against him. The boy kept going on about being taught more fun and exciting things. Zuko knew he should have rejected him. He knew that somewhere in the back of his thoughts, but Aang didn't seem inclined to give him long to think. Zuko woke up the next morning once again staring at the sleeping Avatar.

The next day Zuko told himself that he would do better. He wouldn't just give in. Those thoughts lasted till Aang found him that afternoon in his office and again that night when he bathed. Zuko tried to pretend that he wasn't pleased waking up a third day in a row to find Aang sleeping in his bed.

He wished that he could have vowed not to that day, but Aang didn't even let him get out of bed that morning before attacking him. Zuko vowed to himself that afternoon that he would not let Aang sleep in his room that night. It was a promise he kept. The next morning he woke in Aang's bed.

If it was just sex, Zuko felt sure he could reject him. Aang's emotions were all over the place though. Zuko had never pictured himself as an emotional person, but he was suddenly faced with learning everything he could to help Aang. After things, they always stayed together talking. He could tell that Aang emotions were growing in leaps and bounds. He always had more questions to ask then Zuko had answers.

Zuko had felt shocked to discover that his near death was the cause of Aang's emotional retreat. That had it simply been the death of the assassin that Aang would have most likely pulled through. The feeling now that he could have done something to help and stop it often reached Zuko. He couldn't stop wondering if it was some how his fault that Aang was like this. Toph was quick to dispel that thought though.

Toph was also quick to point out that Zuko was failing at rejection. He tried to steady his resolve. He knew that he was only being used. He wanted to give in though. Even if it was only for few hours, Zuko felt like Aang belonged to him, but he knew that every time Aang walked away, he felt like another piece of his heart was growing cold. Zuko had tried to tell himself that Aang might not even come back, but he always did.

On the fourth night from their match, Zuko thought for sure that he had control of the situation. He had been out at the stables making sure that Appa was doing okay after Toph's drugging. By staying away from any of his usual places, he thought Aang might not even find him and that temptation might be lessened. As Aang walked into the stables though, he knew he was wrong on both accounts. Zuko then found out that Aang didn't take rejection very well.

As Zuko walked through the palace trying to find Toph the next morning he wished he wasn't so transparent. He wished that he could feel taken advantage of at least. The only thought that seemed to fill his brain though was that an angry Avatar made for kinky sex. It didn't help that Aang always seemed to make it impossible to stay angry with.

Zuko was wondering if he might have to rethink that. He determined that if Aang ever left him with another set of rock handcuffs as he had that morning that he might learn to just be very peeved at him. He couldn't even be rightly pissed off since after things, Aang had forced a sulking Zuko up to the stables roof to watch the sun rise with him. They stayed together talking and Zuko had felt as he had every time they talked like that; That he was falling in love with Aang all over again. Aang had decided to keep the rock handcuffs on him though. A reminder that the Avatar does not take rejection.

Which is how, on the fifth day from the match, Zuko found himself in a wardrobe closet with Toph. He had kept the rock handcuffs hidden all morning as he searched for her. Glad to have finally found her, Zuko hadn't paid close attention to his surroundings. When he heard Aang down an adjoining hall he quickly grabbed Toph and shoved her through the nearest door and rushed in after her. It was only after wards that he realized that it was a closet full of Fire Lord robes.

"I guess there are more then two," Zuko said mostly to himself.

"Do you care to tell me just why we are in a closet together, Hot Pants?" Toph asked.

"Shh, he will hear you."

"Finally trying to actually reject him?"

"Yeah and he didn't take it so well," Zuko replied.

"Is that where you got those rock bracelets from?"

"I was coming to ask you if you might remove them. I heard him and just thought that maybe seeing me still cuffed would send him after me. I figured the word 'no' would work as well this time as it did last night," Zuko explained.

"But Zuko, that's -"

"No it isn't. You know that. I know that. And he most certainly knows that. He knows that I wont reject him seriously right now. He knows that I love him. I just don't think he understands what that means. I feel like he is trying desperately to tell me he cares, but that he is only using his body to do it. Like his mind is holding him back."

"And here I just thought he was making up for lost time," Toph said with a quiet chuckle.

Zuko sighed and Toph frowned. Things were getting out of hand.

"Okay, Hot Pants. I'm going to help you out, but you probably wont like it much. You gotta follow my lead."

Toph slipped between Zuko's arms that were still locked at the wrist by the rock handcuffs. She reached past Zuko and grabbed the door knob.

"Toph, what are you doing?" Zuko hissed in half panic.

"You have got to trust me on this. Think of me as Aang if it makes it easier for you. You know what was great?"

"What?"

"Yesterday, I went over to Mai's to check on Momo. Mai had him dressed in all these frilly baby clothes and even had him sitting while a painter captured his portrait."

Zuko laughed and fell right into Toph's trap. She opened the door. They spilled out as Toph forced herself against him further. She was considerate enough to reach her hands up and cover the back of his head so that he wouldn't hit it when they landed. To on lookers though, it just looked further like an embrace.

"It seems we caught his attention. I hear him coming this way. Now, for love of everything you hold dear, pretend that you enjoy this," Toph whispered in his ear.

Soft lips pressed against Zuko's. It was a total contrast to Aang's. He held his eyes closed resisting the urge to peek and see if Aang was watching them. It was over quickly as Aang's voice resounded over them.

"What are you two doing?" he asked.

Zuko turned toward the very upset Avatar. He tried to make his face as emotion less as all the ones Aang used to show him.

"What's it look like, Twinkle Toes?"

"I thought you guys-"

"Were friends? Well, since you said he was your best friend, I figured he is my best friend too. I might as well learn everything he has to teach. Which as it turns out is quite a lot."

She slipped out from under under the cuffs and climbed to her feet. She helped Zuko to his.

"Come on, Hot Pants. Lets find some where that we wont be bothered. I've been wanting to try out that big 'ole bed of yours."

Zuko walked toward his room and struggled not to look back.

"Oh, and Aang, good job on those handcuffs. You saved me a toooon of trouble," Toph said turning back at Aang and giving him a wink.

Zuko whispered down to her, "You know he's going to kill us right?"

Toph giggled and leaned against him.

Once they were out of ear shot, she said, "I'd like to see him try. Your bed frame is made of metal! Guess I'm staying the night with you, but no matter how hot the pants, they stay on tonight."

Zuko laughed and said, "I shall try to control myself."

* * *

Footnote: The scenes... I mean them well, but they just end up so short. Review.


	16. Would You Have Sex With Him

**A/N: I have got to stop spoiling you people. You guys are not going to know what to do with so many chapters. I apologize to every one also for the spamming of chapters the last few days... and the next few days. I'm just trying to get everything done in time for Nanowrimo. I'd like to get this done and have some serious prep time.**

* * *

Aang paced back and forth in Mai's living room. Her husband sat on the couch looking rather concerned.

"Are you sure you don't want to take a seat?" Tezor ask him.

"Do you think it will help?" Aang asked back.

"It might."

"Mai is okay though?" Aang asked.

"She is fine. She is just resting after the false labor this afternoon. It seems to have worn her out. She took Momo upstairs and laid him in his bed for a nap and fell asleep beside him," Tezor explained.

"I should go then," Aang said beginning to make his way towards the door.

"No, its okay. Mai would talk to you and help you. As her husband I want to stand in for her where I can when she is down. This is one of those occasions where I can support her. Beside, it really seems like you need someone to talk to," Tezor said with a smile.

Aang collapsed in the chair across from the couch.

"You are one of Zuko's Generals?" Aang asked.

"Yes, but during times of peace like this, I'm actually Captain of the Guards," Tezor replied.

"That means you are close to Zuko, right?"

"The Fire L- … Zuko and I have had many talks and visits if that is what you mean."

"Do you find him attractive?"

Aang watched as the man seem to pale a bit.

"I believe that the Fire Lord is an attractive man that many men strive to be like," Tezor answered.

Aang sat for a moment letting that sink in.

"I guess I'm asking is, would you have sex with him?"

The pale seem to turn almost green. Aang watched in fascination. The man looked positively sea sick.

"Are we talking about as an order?" Tezor asked.

"No, I just mean if he was there and said he wanted to."

"Unless ordered to, I would decline his offer," Tezor said at length.

"You find him attractive, but you wouldn't sleep with him?" Aang asked.

Tezor seemed to be under some intense strain that Aang couldn't seem to figure out. It looked like he was being tortured.

"Are you sure you want to talk about it?" Aang asked.

"I want to help you for Mai. I can't thank you enough for what you are doing for our baby. I can do this. The answer is no, I wouldn't sleep with him."

"You have with your best friend though, right?" Aang questioned.

"No. I really like the guy, but I wouldn't sleep with him either," Tezor answered a bit quicker.

"Guy? I thought your best friend would be Mai." Aang said with confusion.

Tezor finally found safe ground and quickly jumped on the familiar topic.

"Some people might think that. Mai is the woman I love. I find myself wanting to be a better man for her, but she accepts me as I am. I want to be there to support her and help her in times such as now. She is a capable and beautiful woman that I treasure. She often acts disgusted with things, but I can tell how she really feels. It makes me want to make her happy always," Tezor explained.

"Isn't that how you feel about your best friend?" Aang asked.

"My best friend is a guy who I know I can trust my life with. He has saved me multiple times, just as I have saved him. When he is down, I'm there to take him out for drinks. He is someone I know I can trust."

"What is the difference?" Aang asked feeling more confused then ever.

"The difference is a feeling that you get. I feel it around Mai and not my friend," Tezor said.

"What is the feeling though?" Aang questioned.

"Love, of course."

"But what does Love feel like? How do you know if it's Love? How can you tell?" Aang questioned further.

"Those are questions that even greater people then us have always wondered, but I think the answers are simple enough," Tezor said.

Aang watched him waiting on a further answer.

"Love is the feeling you get when you look at the person and think that you want to hold them and you would do anything to make them smile when they are sad. It's the feeling that you get when they smile at you and make you feel that even if you just ran all over town for only five minutes of time with them that it was worth it. When you feel like you always want to be next to someone or your world feels empty without them. Its a lot of little feelings that make up a big one," Tezor explained.

"What about when you feel really angry at them, because they are sleeping with other people?"

Tezor gave a chuckle and said, "That is jealousy. Its can be a real monster. Its usually a sign that you really care about someone. Most often its a sure sign of love. Caring about someone makes you want to be the only person in their thoughts. When they start spending time with someone else, it can really make you upset."

"I think I used to love someone before. I still think that maybe somewhere in me that I still do. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to always smile. I feel bad that I took so many years of her life. She can be with her people now, but I think I made her bitter," Aang said.

"That is lost love. The only thing you can do is try to move on and try to do better with the next person you love. Love isn't always happy and isn't always good feelings. Some times things like jealousy get in the way and some times other things, but all you can keep doing is keep learning. Life is all about learning. Its our duty as the human race."

"So you are saying that learning about Love is a duty of the human race?" Aang asked

"If you look at it that way, then yes."

"Then love can be a duty too?"

Tezor sensed that he was just asked a very important question and that his answer might have a very large impact on not only the Avatar, but the rest of the world. He hoped he answered correctly.

"Love is not a duty itself. When it becomes a duty, it becomes more like a chore and that is when emotions flee from it. Every person and every thing needs love though. You have a duty to yourself and you must uphold that. In that duty, you have the rights to things like food, shelter, and love. Your duty is to yourself. Love just gets to be a part of it."

"I have many duties," Aang thought out loud.

"As the Avatar, I would expect you would. The real question is which duties have more needs to be met then the others," Tezor said.

"Thank you. I will tell Mai that you did a good job while she was unable to. Do you mind if I come and talk to you again about Love and Duty?"

"I think Mai might have better answers, but if you wanted to talk to me, you know where to find me," Tezor replied.

Aang left and made his way back to the palace. He gained assistance from a maid that smiled warmly at him and offered to show him back to his room. All the maids had been so kind to him this last week. He never would have been able to find Zuko with out their help. She led him to the hall where his room was located and then told her he would find the rest of the way on his own.

He stood outside the Fire Lord's room. He could hear Toph laughing about something and Zuko's quieter laugh. That monster in the pit of his stomach seemed to grow. He blasted the door with a ball of air. The thing came off the hinges and broke in two.

"Now!" Toph shouted.

The next few moments were a blur of movement. Aang heard a rather loud thud as something came crashing onto the floor, but he saw a flurry of movement toward him and before he could fight back, his body was suddenly wrapped tightly up with something overly solid and rather cold. It was like a second skin from the neck down, but it held him firmly. The next thud was his own body hitting the floor.

"Haha! I'm still the best!" Toph exclaimed.

"You know he will kill you for this," Zuko said.

"The only thing he might kill me for is if I kiss you again. After this, he might shake my hand."

"What the world is going on?" Aang finally asked.

Toph and Zuko finally moved into Aang's line of sight. He could see them both still fully clothed and on opposite sides of him. He felt confusion setting in, before the realization that he had been totally duped.

"Listen Aang, Toph wanted to make you jealous. She thought that you might-"

"Suddenly strangle her? That was all I had the urge to do. Tezor already told me that I love you. I don't need to be encased to figure it out," Aang said while trying to figure out how to move.

"Come again," Zuko said.

"I went to talk to Mai, but she was resting, so I talked to Tezor. Zuko, he is way better at talking to about emotions then you are," Aang admitted.

"I probably should have seen that coming. Zuko, you are pretty bad. Sokka told me about your silver sandwich." Toph said.

"Hey what is this? Don't just suddenly turn on me!"

"I'm just saying. You probably had Aang so confused that this matter might have been sorted out days ago," Toph said.

Zuko stood there. His jaw hanging open in shock. He closed it and turned his back on them.

"Don't get angry, Zuko. I want you to hold me. I still feel lonely when you are not around and I know I feel jealous just thinking of you with someone else. Tezor says these are signs of love. I've known that I have felt something for you, but I can't stop my duty. Tezor just told me that I have a duty to myself. I have a right to love. I want to love, Zuko. Especially, now that I'm sure I love you."

Zuko turned and knelt to kiss Aang. It was softer then their usual kisses, but Aang felt happy none the less.

"Get a room you two... Oh wait... never mind, I'm going to my room," Toph said turning to leave.

Zuko grabbed her arm before she could get anywhere.

"What, Hot Pants? I'm not into that kind of thing."

"Uh, Toph, you kind of need to set Aang free."

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Footnote: For those of you who can't tell... this means the end is near. We still got at two more chapters though. I don't believe this is going to be the end of this time line for me though after the story ends. I think I may end up posting up various stories that fall into place at parts of it. Like scenes that I only glazed over and even events after.


	17. I Don't Think I Possibly Could

**A/N: I wrote this chapter while listening to the instrumental song, "Alice" by Yasunori Mitsuda. It comes from the game "Shadow Hearts" (no I have not played, just love the song). I only tell you this, because even after its done, I find it makes wonderful mood music for the chapter.**

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"I refuse. I already walked in on him with no pants. I'm not doing that again. I may not see things, but I am still a girl," said the voice that seemed to wake Zuko from his sleep.

Zuko sat up in bed. It was still dark outside, but the sun would be rising shortly.

"You only seem to remember you are a girl when it is convenient," Iroh said, somewhat muffled through the newly repaired door.

"Hey, a girl has to have her pride."

"Yes, but you have enough pride for four girls."

"That is why you like me."

Zuko rolled his eyes. They were getting nowhere fast. He climbed out of bed, grateful that he had worn silk sleep pants. He cast a look back at sleeping Aang, before he opened the door.

"The Fire Lord needs his beauty sleep or he might just turn into a dragon and roast you. There had better be a good reason for this," Zuko said.

"It's Mai. I guess her false labor wasn't so false, but more and early warning sign. Seems she is in labor right now. She has been since all of last night, but we figured it was best not to disturb you, but you and Aang are going to be needed shortly," Toph explained.

Zuko yawned and nodded.

"I'll get him up. Guess it's finally time to give him back some of his own clothes again."

"I have just the thing for him," Iroh said holding out a sealed package.

"Come on over to Mai's once you are ready," Toph added.

Zuko walked back to bed with the package in hand. He was surprised to find Aang already awake and sitting up in bed. Zuko guessed their conversation must have awoken him. He tossed the package over to Aang. The boy opened it. He stared down at it, rubbing sleep from his eye.

"It's great, but I'm sure by now it wouldn't fit." Aang said sleepily.

"When they took your clothes, I guess Uncle must have been working on this," Zuko guessed.

Aang climbed out of bed and began dressing in the new garments. Zuko grabbed his Fire Lord robes and moved to his closet before dressing. By the time Zuko had everything fastened properly he looked over to see a fully dressed Avatar.

"Well, does it still suite me?" Aang asked.

Zuko tried to swallow, but found his throat too dry. He felt his emotions well up. The clothes were an exact replica of the ones he had worn after the defeat of Ozai.

"Don't go tearing up before the baby is even born," Aang said making his way over to him.

"You look great. We've come a really long way," Zuko said.

Aang took hold on Zuko's hand.

"We have, but we still got a lot further to go yet," Aang said, placing a gentle kiss on Zuko's hand.

Zuko sighed and shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. He walked over to his desk and sat down. He carefully pulled his hair into a top knot and used a tie from the desk. He reached into the top drawer and pulled out the large flame hair piece. He turned it over in his hands. Aang gently pulled it from his fingers and place it in Zuko's hair.

"I think we are ready now, Fire Lord."

"I think you are right, Avatar."

They left the palace with Zuko leading. They made their way out with deep bows of respect from all the staff. The guards seemed to take pause at the sight of them. In the last few weeks, the guards had gotten to see a side of him that they didn't know about. The humanistic side. Now they were seeing a side they had only glimpsed before, the regal Fire Lord.

The entrance to Mai's house was all a bustle of guards and free staff members with family and other friends. They cleared and parted as they arrived. Iroh stood just inside the door.

"You are perfectly on time. Tezor shall be presenting the baby in a moment. You should go and talk to Mai while he does so," Iroh said walking past them.

They made their way to a back room. The people pointed them in the proper direction. Mai laid in a bed surrounded by women. At the sight of the Fire Lord and Avatar, the room quickly emptied. They moved closer to the bed.

Mai's hair was everywhere. Zuko couldn't recall ever seeing it such a mess. She looked worn and tired, but some part of her seemed to glow with happiness. Zuko smiled down at her. She gave a smile back.

"His name is Oota. I want you to be his Godfather," Mai said looking at Zuko. She looked around him to Aang and amended, "Godfathers."

"Are you sure about that, Mai?" Zuko asked.

"I thought a lot about it. I think it seems right. My husband agrees," Mai said.

"Even me?" Aang asked still feeling shocked.

"You have brought Zuko happiness and I have a feeling that you are going to be bringing him even more as the future comes. You have always been a part of Zuko's life, before he even knew you. To make him the Godfather with out you is only taking half. Oota will be lucky," Mai finished saying as Tezor walked in holding the baby.

Aang held out his arms to take the newborn. He cradled it gently to him. Zuko leaned over getting a look and his Godson. The baby lay sleeping in arms. Black hair already covering his head. His skin looked soft and pink.

"No, you can't have one," Zuko said to Aang.

"I dreamed last night," Aang said in all seriousness.

"What did you dream about?" Zuko asked.

"I dreamed of Avatar Yangchen. She told me why the Avatar is born human and not as a spirit. She told me that I must always show compassion and remember my emotions and experience human life. That if I were nothing more then an all powerful spirit I would have nothing in common with the people I must protect. She told me not to forget this time," Aang explained looking and the baby in his arms. He turned to Zuko and said, "I don't think I possibly could."

As the sun rose into the sky, painting it with golds and red, they left the house carrying the baby. They made their way to the palace and stopped at the top of the steps. Everyone gathered at the foot of them to hear the speech the Fire Lord and Avatar made to honor baby Oota. Some time after Zuko's speech and in the middle of Aang's, Mai and Tezor made their way over and through the crowd. Aang made the rest of the speech as he descended the stairs.

"Lastly, may not only Oota find a life of love and happiness, but that his parents might also," Aang said carefully handing the baby back to Mai. She took the baby and moved to hug him.

Mai whispered in his ear, "And may his Godfathers too."

* * *

Footnote: I'm not going to cry! ~cries eyes out~ Anyone else need a tissue? Don't leave me just yet, I still have an epilogue. (For those of you who have not played Escape from the Spirit world, Yangchen actually told Aang all of that, but she made him forget it at the end. )


	18. Remember The Constant Returns

**A/N: Here it is folks. The moment some of you have waited and hoped for, but that others have dreaded. The end. **

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~Epilogue~

"You have to come back within a month," Zuko said.

"And what great event shall I miss this time if I am held in meetings an unbearable time?" Aang asked.

"Oota's fifth birthday," Zuko replied.

Aang straightened. They had been discussing this since Oota's fourth one. Ever since little Oota had accidentally set the curtains on fire, there had been a lot of talking.

"I will be here," Aang said earnestly.

"You had better. The council wont take me seriously unless you are with me."

Aang leaned against Zuko. The Avatar clothes and Fire Lord robes were more clothes then Aang preferred.

"You know I would happily stay if I could. Promise me that next time, you will come with me," Aang said.

"It's not so easy for the Fire Lord to just leave the Fire Nation. However, after Oota's birthday, I suppose things will get at least a bit better," Zuko explained.

Aang smiled at him, but Zuko just sat on the edge of the bed with a frown marring his face.

"I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do," Zuko admitted.

"Zuko, we have been over this a million times. We've beaten this horse to death, then brought it back to life and beat it to death at least thirty other times."

"He is only going to be five."

"You are going to name him your successor, not crown him Fire Lord. You are not dying off any time soon.," Aang reprimanded.

"What if something does happen?"

"Then I'll just slip into Avatar state and flatten the world and there will be nothing to worry about," Aang joked.

"Aang."

Aang sighed and said, "I will be here for him. I will do everything in my power to protect him. There would be a temporary ruler till Oota reached an official age. I wont just leave him on his own. There is also his amazing parents. There is no way the council would make a puppet out of him. Mai would never let them."

Zuko gave a short laugh saying, "You might just be right about that."

"This will also stop all the attempts from the council," Aang pointed out.

A groaned escaped from Zuko as he said, "If they send another bride, I'm going to set the council members on fire."

Aang laughed merrily saying, "When they sent Toph at your uncle's behalf, the look on your face was priceless!"

"It still pisses me off that you knew about it all along."

"Zuko, you deserve a break. I would rather not have to kidnap you again."

Giving a slight wince, Zuko said, "That wasn't one of your better ideas."

"Well, it got the council moving."

"Yeah, moving in the direction of all out war towards you. I can't just disappear for a week."

"You got to admit, the trip back was pretty hot. Me, all chained up in the brig. You, the kind Lord, bringing his captor food among other things."

"You are not allowed to talk about such things before you leave me for weeks at a time," Zuko said frustratedly.

Aang winced this time. It was still the only thing they had never managed to work out. Even the council was catching on to a pattern. The day the Avatar returned, the Fire Lord went missing. The next day Zuko would be at the meetings, but he would tell everyone that the Avatar was too tired from travel to make it and would be with them the next day.

"I guess you really have to go," Zuko sighed.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. I wouldn't leave you for even a day longer then I had to."

"I really hate these constant partings."

"Just remember the constant returns."

Aang wrapped his arms around Zuko. They shared in one last embrace before Aang headed out the door.

It had taken Zuko more then a year before he realized that they couldn't say good bye. It felt just too final. It made the partings almost unbearable. He had also found it was easier to part in the palace. He didn't have to watch Aang disappear into the the distant sky and feel his heart fill with worry of if he would ever see that smile returning to him again.

He threw himself back on the bed. He tried to think of all the bustle the guards and staff would make once Aang returned. The way the crowds would cheer as Aang jumped off Appa and into his arms. He allowed himself a small smile at that thought.

Maybe the time wouldn't be so long.

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Footnote: I can't thank all of you who have spent the time to read this enough. To you reviewers, I love you all so very much.

I know that this story is over, but I grow more certain that the time line isn't. I will probably end up writing various other stories covering different times and events. Please look forward to future works.


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